Nessie's Nine Iron

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Nessie's Nine Iron is a community-created melee weapon for the Demoman. It is a standard golf club with a brown grip.

Despite the description of this weapon not stating that it has a wide melee range and collects heads, the weapon functions identically to the Eyelander.

Taunting with Nessie's Nine Iron equipped will perform the Decapitation kill taunt.

Damage and function times

See also: Damage
Identical to: Bottle
Damage and function times
Base damage 100% 65
Point blank 55-75
Critical 195
Mini-crit 75-101
Function times
Attack interval 0.8 s
Values are approximate and determined by community testing.



See also: Crafting


Class Token - Demoman Slot Token - Melee Scrap Metal Possible Results
Item icon Class Token - Demoman.png + Item icon Slot Token - Melee.png + Item icon Scrap Metal.png =
Item icon Eyelander.png Item icon Scotsman's Skullcutter.png Item icon Ullapool Caber.png Item icon Claidheamh Mòr.png
Item icon Pain Train.png Item icon Half-Zatoichi.png Item icon Persian Persuader.png Item icon Nessie's Nine Iron.png
Item icon Scottish Handshake.png Item icon Freedom Staff.png Item icon Ham Shank.png Item icon Bat Outta Hell.png
Item icon Conscientious Objector.png

Related achievements

Leaderboard class demoman.png Demoman

Beat Me Up, Scotty
Beat Me Up, Scotty
Use a critical swing with the Eyelander to kill 5 enemy players.

Decapitate 50 enemy players.

Left 4 Heads
Left 4 Heads
Decapitate 4 players with only 10 seconds between each kill.

Scotch Tap
Scotch Tap
Glory in the slaughter of your enemies using the Eyelander.
Shorn Connery
Shorn Connery
Decapitate a cloaked Spy.

Slammy Slayvis Woundya
Slammy Slayvis Woundya
Decapitate an enemy Soldier who is brandishing the Equalizer.

The Scottish Play
The Scottish Play
Get a melee kill while sticky jumping.

There Can Be Only One
There Can Be Only One
Decapitate your nemesis.

Update history

July 1, 2011 Patch
  • Nessie's Nine Iron was added to the game.

July 12, 2011 [Item schema update]

July 18, 2011 Patch

  • The item can now be crafted.

August 9, 2011 Patch

  • [Undocumented] Updated the kill icon of this weapon to remove a line from the top.

August 15, 2011 Patch

  • [Undocumented] Updated the kill icon for Nessie's Nine Iron.

August 18, 2011 Patch

  • [Undocumented] Updated the kill icon for Nessie's Nine Iron.

October 13, 2011 Patch (Manniversary Update & Sale)

  • Updated community contributed response rules.

December 21, 2011 Patch

  • Fixed missing forces for Demoman swords.


  • Decapitating a Sniper using the Bazaar Bargain who has heads on his counter will collect those heads as if they were taken from another Demoman with the Eyelander, Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker or Nessie's Nine Iron.
    • This bug is the result of the above weapons all counting Heads, which are counted as the same unit despite their different effects.


  • The name of this weapon is derived from the mythical Template:W (nicknamed Nessie), which is reputed to live in Loch Ness, Scotland.
  • The modern 18 hole game of golf was invented in Scotland, the Demoman's homeland.
  • Nessie's Nine Iron is a left-handed golf club.
  • This weapon will whisper "heads" as if it was the Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker.



  1. Team Fortress 2 Schema diff (commit 7d5de030…) on OPTF2 Wiki Schema Tracker, 18:07:08 UTC, July 12, 2011. Accessed July 12, 2011.

See also