Teufort (city)

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This article is about the town of Teufort. For the game map, see 2Fort. For other uses, see: Teufort (disambiguation).
Teufort, New Mexico

User Mikado282 Toufort town square.png
Teufort town square

Information
Country: United States
State: New Mexico
Population: 1280[1] (1968)
That's why we give you guys bottled water.

Teufort (also known as "America's Gravel Basket"[1] and "The City That Never Seeps"[2]) is a fictional town, located in the Badlands region in the American Southwest. The town itself adjoins the 2Fort facilities. Some historical events related to the Gravel Wars take place in the environs and institutions of the community. Teufort is also the city that held the trials as well as the attempted hangings of RED Spy and Scout. The town also has a large landfill in the center of the town blocking multiple businesses such as Giuseppe's Pizza. The residents accuse the mercenaries of turning the school into a parking lot and many other things. The mayor uses illegal methods of running a town, executing, and education methods.

History

According to local publication[3], the settlement was founded by Claude Huggins, of whom was the lone survivor of a bear attack, who originally named the town "Hugginsville". He later renamed the town to "Two Farts" in 1847 during an incident with a group of teenage bullies where he was forced to. Huggins, whom was afraid to return the establishment's name to Hugginsville due to his incident, renamed the town to "Teufort"[3].

Geography

Teufort is situated within the northeast Badlands region of New Mexico.

Demographics

Population: 1280

Economy

Teufort is located in a fertile agricultural area within the Badlands.

The community boasts an incredibly active economy given its small population. Major commercial enterprises include the modern Teufort Mall[4] and a large bank.[5]

Postcard tomjones.png

Arts and culture

Teufort: It is horrible

Points of interest

  • The Alamo
  • Town Square City Dump[6], featuring a statue of founder Claude Huggins[3], commemorating "A Proud Legacy of Hiding".
  • The "Tom Jones Museum"

Media

Several local and area publications are essential in communicating local events and promoting businesses and products.

Local Newspapers
  • Teufort Times[7]
  • Teufort Bystander[8]
Area Newspapers
  • The Gravel Pit Gazette[9]
  • The Gravel Street Journal[10]

Government

  • Mayor and Judge (1972) : "Mayor Mike"[11]
  • Teufort Police Department
  • Teufort Department of Corrections[4]
  • Park Ranger Service[12]

Education

  • Elementary School[13]
  • Public Library[14] (location of the world's largest continuously burning book fire).
Postcard raccoon.png

Environmental issues

  • The city's reputation for improper environmental control has earned it the moniker "Home of the Eternal Sewage".
  • The facilities at 2Fort have contaminated the Teufort water supply with lead for over a generation.[15]
  • The John Doe Raccoon Sanctuary is currently housing every raccoon in the greater Badlands area.

Transportation

  • Teufort is served by the Northern Express Railroad.
  • Passenger jet service is available at the city's airport.[16]

Notable people

  • The Mysterious Teufort Arsonist. Teufort seems to have the world's most pro-active arsonist who apparently goes around starting fires in barns just about every night. This is not aided by the fact that Teufort does not actually have a fire department.
  • Claude Huggins. Founder of "Hugginsville", of which later became "Two Farts" and finally "Teufort".
  • Guiseppe. Pizza shop owner whose pizza shop was closed after a city dump was placed in the middle of Teufort's town square, ultimately denying access to the shop.

Trivia

See also

References

  1. a b Comic page, Meet the Director
  2. Update page, City on Fire, Pyromania Update
  3. a b c Comic page, A Cold Day in Hell
  4. a b Comic page, A Smissmas Story
  5. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  6. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  7. Comic page, A Smissmas Story
  8. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  9. Update page, WAR! Update
  10. Comic page, Ring of Fired
  11. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  12. Comic page, Doom-Mates
  13. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  14. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  15. Comic page, Unhappy Returns
  16. Comic page, Unhappy Returns