Blood Brothers/Transcript
[expand]Blood Brothers |
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[The first page shows a cover image for a comic, depicting a hand holding up a bloodied knife, illuminated by an unseen light source, with the shadow cast in the background shows two hands raised in the air by a second unseen individual. A Mann Co. sticker with a depiction of Saxton Hale reading 'MANN CO. LICENSED ALAMO FICTION' is also displayed, alongside a second sticker showing the comic is #117 in the series, released in August at a price of 12¢]
ALAMO ASTONISHMENT IN THE MIGHTY MANN CO. MANNER!
[The comic opens to Blutarch & Redmond Mann at the Alamo during sunset, the building precariously placed on top of a large rock with the front corners overhanging the edge. A blood-stained dove can be seen flying nearby] [ Badlands, New Mexico. ] [ Some time in the future. ] Blutarch: Redmond, we have engaged in a fruitless war for a hundred years. We have no heirs. And now we are out of time. Thanks to our pointless bickering, the Mann family line will die with us. It kills me to even say it, but I think you know what I intend to propose. Redmond: I despise it with every atom of my being... but yes. It's the only solution that makes sense. Blutarch: We must-- Redmond: Brother! Please. Dismiss the help first. Leave us. Now. [The view changes to show two men in similar clothing to the Engineer helping to maintain the life extender machine connected to Redmond from behind his wheelchair. Redmond raises his arm to dismiss them as they begin to walk away] Blutarch: Redmond, I propose a truce. So that we can build a machine to make one of us pregnant. Redmond: Mm. Of course. Blutarch: My one concern, brother... is it possible this plan is too perfect? Redmond: Difficult to say. Honestly, I can find no flaw in it. Blutarch: Nor I. So it's a deal? Redmond: Yes. [They begin reaching over to shake eachother's hand and solidify the truce] Blutarch: I must say, Redmond -- it was big of you to suggest this meeting. That tear-stained letter you sent me... Redmond: What? You sent me a tear-stained letter. [Suddenly from the side, multiple violent 'THNK' sounds can be heard] Voice: Gentlemen. [Both brothers turn in shock to see an elderly man in a gray suit weilding a bloodied knife, the life extender machine maintainers from before now deceased and laying on the floor with blood splatters surrounding them. Connected to the gray-suited man's back is a futuristic device containing a deep yellow liquid] Gray: My name is Gray Mann. I am your brother. And I sent the letters proposing this truce. Which, I might add, it took you literally thirty seconds to turn into an idiotic crime against nature. Congratulations. Blutarch: Brother, who is this? Gray: I just told you who I-- Redmond: I don't know, brother! But he could be the key to helping us build our pregnancy machine. You there! Young man! Are you mechanically inclined? Gray: Eheh. Yes. You could say that. [The scene changes to the outside of a mansion on a cloudy night] Voice: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* [ Mann Manor. 1822. ] [The view shifts to inside of the building, where Zepheniah Mann and Barnabus Hale are at a table viewing a map. A maid — Patience Meriweather — is seen in the doorway with a bloodied apron and a worried expression] Zepheniah: Well. Thank heavens for small mercies, at least she finally stopped screaming. As I was saying, Barnabus, if the sites of infestation are indeed multiplying, so is their need for munitions. Munitions we can--- Meriweather: Mister Mann? Sir? Zepheniah: Well? Meriweather: Your wife, sir... she... ...didn't make it. Barnabus: Bette... [Barnabus puts a hand to his head in dismay, while Zepheniah's retains an unimpressed expression] Zepheniah: Yes. Well. And the child? [Meriweather raises her eyebrow, Barnabus in the background now with his elbows on the table, cusping his face with both hands] Meriweather: Ch-- Children, sir. Three boys. Zepheniah: Good. At least she did something right. Take me to them. [The scene changes to Zepheniah looking over a crib with two newborns inside — Blutarch and Redmond — as Meriweather holds up a candle for light in the background. Both newborns have their fists clenched, looking at eachother with an angry expression] Zepheniah: Strapping. Alert. Handsome. Mm. They'll do. Wait... where's the third child? Meriweather: Sir, he's... he came out so small, and... there's something you should know about him... Zepheniah: Show him to me. [She holds up the third child — Gray — as Zepheniah reels back in disgust] Gray: Hello, father. Meriweather: He can talk, sir. Zepheniah: BLUAGH! Smother it. [ When suddenly... ] [As lightning strikes outside, an eagle smashes through the window with the text 'EAGLE ATTACK!' for emphasis, before it grabs Gray and carries him back out of the window] Zepheniah: Curse you, demon bird! I'll smother you both! Eagle: Brawk Gray: What is happening. [The scene changes back to the present as Gray finishes his backstory] Blutarch: You could talk as a newborn? Gray: Mm. I learned in the womb. Listening to our mother. I also invented a new form of algebra. To pass the time. We were a late birth, you'll recall. Yet I was born weak, and that was something our father could never accept. Luckily, providence intervened, in the form of the Great Eagle Scourge of 1822. I was raised by that eagle as if I was one of her own. Frail. Helpless. I was fed grubs and mice. Accepted alongside her other children. Kept warm at night, nestled in her feathery breast. And, when I was strong enough, brothers... I ate her and all her children. And crawled back to civilization. [Gray walks past his two brothers to look out of the window] Gray: Unlike you two pampered imbeciles, I built my empire. I have studied. I have plotted. I have waited. And for a hundred and fifty years I have watched you squander my father's fortune. For gods sake, you bought the Alamo and flew it to New Mexico. For a meeting. Blutarch / Redmond: Well, technically we rented it. [The view zooms out, revealing a digging site comprised of mostly gravel, as well as another building in the near distance] Gray: And in all the time you've spent fighting this asinine war, over worthless pits of gravel... you have not once considered our true birthright. [The scene shifts to reveal the other building as Mann Co. Headquarters, with Saxton Hale present atop alongside some wooden boxes and bottles doing one-arm pushups. A sign at the front of the building reads 'MANN CO.' 'We make hats, guns, bats, bombs, bazookas, camera beards, comics, magazines, portable baccarat detectors, banners, swords, shields and get in fights' 'Non-employees welcome for gorilla wrestling Fridays'] Gray: ["...the only thing in this hell-blasted landscape actually worth fighting over."] Saxton Hale: Six hundred sixty-seven... six hundred sixty-eight... come on, other arm! Pull your weight! Right arm's embarrassing you! [The scene shifts back to inside the Alamo, as Redmond puts his hand up to dismiss Gray's speech] Redmond: "Worthless pits of gravel"? Ha! You poor fool. Whoever owns those pits would be a God. What do you think powers the world's steam engines? Gray: Coal. Redmond: No, grav-- Gray: No, it really is coal. Or it was. Engines run on gasoline now. [Redmond's expression shifts to one of curiosity, while Gray becomes increasingly irritated] Redmond: "Graveline", eh? Well, semantics, it's all gravel in the end, of course... Gray: Gasoline. And no. It's not. Again, it's truly, truly not. Redmond: Feh! And where will the world be when all this fanciful "liquid gravel" of yours runs out? No, I have it. We simply need to create a machine that turns gravel into coal. And that coal will power our pregnancy machine, so we can-- [Redmond stops, his eyes rolling up as he begins to drool] Blutarch: Don't worry, he's just dead for a moment. He'll be back in a-- Gray: Mm. No. I thin I've heard enough. [A 'THNK' can be heard as Gray stabs Redmond to death, much to the horror of Blutarch] Blutarch: No! Please! We have so much gravel left to fight over! We-- [Wearing a cold expression, Gray stabs Blutarch to death with a 'THNK' sound, then holds the blood-stained knife behind his back as he looks out of the window again, both of his brothers motionless in their chairs] [The comic ends with a back cover image, showing Saxton Hale and multiple comic covers] Saxton Hale: Don't forget to remember these other great Alamo action mags! [The comics shown are largely for other entries in the Alamo series such as 'Alamo Hospital Romance' where the Alamo is depicted as a doctor in love with a women that has amnesia, 'ALAMO vs HERCULES' where the Alamo is depicted fighting the Roman hero Hercules, and 'How I got the fiction rights to the Alamo' 'TRUE TALES OF SAXTON HALE' where Saxton Hale is depicted in a game of poker against the President of the United States of America, of whom has just bet the Alamo, holding a four-of-a-kind. Above the latter of these comics is a notice that reads 'And don't miss an astounding Alamo appearance in this month's true tales of Saxton Hale! Special collector's origin issue! Printed with real Alamo dust! Buy five of them!] |