炸弹魔书
| 炸弹魔书 | |
|---|---|
| 漫画信息 | |
| 发布日期: | 2011年10月27日 |
| 页数: | 10 |
| 艺术家: | Michael Oeming Jim Murray(封面) |
| “ | 蠢货!你这家伙竟胆敢直视炸弹魔书!
— 魔法师马拉莫斯
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” |
《炸弹魔书(Bombinomicon)》是于2011年10月27日随非常恐怖的万圣节特约(第三年度万圣节活动)发布的一部漫画。
故事梗概
本篇故事从红队的士兵穿着机器人服装,领着三个分别装扮成泽菲尼亚·曼恩之魂、弗朗西斯与萨克斯顿·霍尔的小孩在万圣节之夜拜访红队基地,来了一次“不给糖就捣蛋”活动而开始。尽管间谍指出了佣兵们本来计划好来一场“成年人派对”且不会“开门发糖”,但士兵辩解说他和孩子们已经四天没吃上饭,且正被警察追捕。尽管间谍反对给孩子们发糖的主意,他最终还是很勉强地给装扮成泽菲尼亚之魂的孩子送了一包香烟与他的刀子。侦察兵给装扮成弗朗西斯的小孩展示了一颗藏在他心爱的球棒里的牙齿,并将牙齿送给了他,同时也不忘吹嘘他在战斗中的炫酷表现。而机枪手先是威吓着装扮成萨克斯顿的小孩,问他凭什么要用血汗钱给小孩子买糖果。但在他把小孩吓哭后,机枪手的态度立刻转变,焦急地跟小孩道歉并给了他整整 7000 美元。而当孩子们去找红队爆破手时,爆破手说他可没有糖果,但给小孩子们讲了一个鬼故事——与他的个人的传奇经历相关的鬼故事。
在爆破手年仅七岁(且双眼健全)那年的万圣节前夜,他的母亲鼓励他去恐怖的恶魔与亡灵那找工作,因为他们仅活动一天。机智的小爆破手找到了一个黑魔法的禁忌城堡,且这座城堡正在招工。前来应门的是魔法师马拉莫斯,他误以为小爆破手是来要万圣节糖果的而感到有些恼怒。而小爆破手很快说明了他的来意是找一份工作干,于是马拉莫斯便安排他去将一个巨大的图书馆打扫干净,而他将支付小爆破手 5 美分。然而,他警告了小爆破手不可去看某本特别的书,即与该漫画同名的炸弹魔书。在警告后,马拉莫斯离开了,而小爆破手开始了打扫。在将整个图书馆打扫得一尘不染后,小爆破手退后一步欣赏他的工作成果,而这时他听见了魔书的呼唤。炸弹魔书引诱小爆破手去阅读它,询问他为何对一个“穿裙子的老白痴”的话如此顺从。正当小爆破手按奈不住好奇心而瞥了一下,一阵蓝光钻入他的左眼,而随后炸弹魔书便成功地占据了这只眼睛。他开始愉悦地称赞成为一只“眼睛”的美妙之处,而这时怒火冲天的马拉莫斯突然出现。大魔法师马拉莫斯吟唱着咒语释放了一道魔法后,小爆破手昏厥了过去。当他醒来后,马拉莫斯消失了,魔书与城堡也消失了,但他的眼睛也无处可寻了。
故事回到当下,士兵从爆破手的话中听出了马拉莫斯的名字,开始抱怨这家伙很少洗自己的餐具。而马拉莫斯也正在这场派对中,这对冤家立马吵了起来。爆破手对他们两人是室友的事实十分震惊,而马拉莫斯转而抱怨派对上“芹菜杆蘸豆泥酱”的素食菜肴,随后与士兵又是一阵争吵。怒不可遏的士兵将马拉莫斯的魔杖在膝盖上撇成两半,而马拉莫斯则召唤出了魔眼,也就是爆破手失去的眼睛化作的魔物来进行报复。他向红队宣布派对到此为止,他将回到公寓而红队将与这庞然大物对抗。然而,士兵纵身一跃抓住了马拉莫斯并开始他的痛殴,机枪手与侦察兵也开始对抗魔眼。
文稿
| Bombinomicon |
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| [The first page of the comic is a cover image, depicting Merasmus cursing the eye of a Demoman. Smaller images depict lightning, the Bombinomicon, and a depiction of Merasmus in a suit pulling his hair]
THIRD ANNUAL SCREAM FORTRESS PRESENTS CAUTIONARY TALES OF READING Merasmus: FOOL! Ye have gazed upon the Bombinomicon! IN THIS ISSUE! LIGHTNING! Merasmus: I was the real monster... all along?* *Not the actual twist ending! [The comic opens to the RED Soldier wearing a crudely made robot costume, with three children wearing costumes representing a ghost in a top hat, the country of France, and Saxton Hale] Children: TRICK OR TREAT! Soldier: I have children! Give us candy! It is the law! [The children hold their sacks of candy out to the RED Spy standing in the doorway, with the Scout and Heavy standing behind him] Spy: Soldier, you were here when we talked about this. This is a party for adults. We agreed we would not be answering the door to give out-- Soldier: Look, me and these kids are in a lot of trouble here. We are on the lam. We have not eaten in four days. The police aren't going to believe I am a robot forever. You have to-- Spy: Yes, fine. Let's see... what I have... ah! There. Merry Christmas. [He drops some cigarettes and a butterfly knife into one of the sacks] [Scout lowers himself to eye-level with the child dressed as France, holding up a wooden bat] Scout: Hey there, slugger. C'mere. You are going to love this. You see this bat? [He pulls a tooth off of it with a 'TOINK' sound] Scout: Bam! That... is a human molar. From some dummy with a big mouth that used to be fulla teeth. It's all yours, little talkin' France. [Heavy leans over towards the child dressed as Saxton Hale] Heavy: Every day Heavy risk life. To earn money. To feed family. Instead, you would have Heavy spend this money. On stupid candy. For YOU. You PRESUMPTUOUS... LAZY... FAT... "Saxton Hale": Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Heavy: Oh. Um. Stop. Heavy did not mean this. Little child is not fat. People call Heavy fat. Please stop crying. Here. Here is seven thousand dollars. [He puts a large amount of money into the now bewildered child's sack] [The scene cuts to the children walking towards the RED Demoman, sitting in an armchair with some candles to the side, drinking from a bottle with the text 'GLUG GLUG GLUG' for emphasis] "Saxton Hale": Sir? Trick or treat? Demoman: Sorry, lads. I dunnae have any candy for ye. But I have got somethin' better. A ghost story. [The candles go out, leaving them in darkness. The Demoman begins to narrate the story, as the scene changes to a young Demoman — notably with both eyes still — walking towards a large castle at night. Some gravestones along the path depict the text 'HELP WANTED' and 'APPLY AT CASTLE'] Demoman: [T'was All-Hallows Eve.] [The one night of the year when the dead would rise...] [...and accordin' to me Mum, possibly have jobs for a young lad of seven.] ["Come morning those hellish apparitions will be gone! Along with all their jobs! Get ye to the Moors, boy!"] [I never did find a ghost on that cold October night...] [...but I did find a job.] [God help me, I did find a job.] [At the front door of the castle, Merasmus steps out as the young Demoman stands to the side] Merasmus: WHO DARES DISTURB 🦇💀MERASMUS THE MAGICIAN?💀🦇 This is an eldritch castle of dark magicke! Not a pancake house! Young Demoman: I'm not here for treats, sir. I've come about the job. Merasmus: The job, eh? Hmm... Demoman: [And without another word, he stalked into the house.] [The scene changes to a room inside the castle, with bookshelves along every wall] Merasmus: Welcome to the grand library! T'is filthy with the corpse dust of the many poor souls who tried to clean it... and failed! Sweep this place, and I shall give ye a nickel. But before ye begin, hear me well, child. This library holds a certain book. A book of forbidden knowledge and ancient wickedness. I warn ye... ...GAZE NOT UPON THIS EVIL TOME. Young Demoman: Don't look at the books, got it. Merasmus: Uh... yes. Good. But... you probably want to, right? Because no matter how tempted ye be... [The young Demoman points towards a broom to the side] Young Demoman: Really, it's fine. I'll just dust. That the broom I should use? Merasmus: GAZE NOT UPON THE BROOM. AND YES, THAT BROOM. [The scene shifts to the young Demoman cleaning] Demoman: [And so I set to work.] [The witching hour approached...] [...and I swept right through it, and kept sweeping until at last the foul place was cleansed.] [But as I stood back to admire my handiwork...] Voice: ...reeeeeeeead meee... Young Demoman: AGH! Who...?! [He approaches a pedestal that holds the Bombinomicon — a book with a large bomb protruding from its cover and glowing red eyes] Bombinomicon: ...reeeeeeeead meee... Young Demoman: You're a book about... bombs? Bombinomicon: ...reeeeeeeead meee... Young Demoman: But the magician said not to. Bombinomicon: Oh, the MAGICIAN said not to. Wow. I'm sorry, that changes everything. I didn't realize some old idiot in a dress told you not to read something. Gosh, you better not, then. Here, why don't I just read myself. [The book begins to read itself, with the text 'FLIP FLIP FLIP' to resemble the sound of pages turning] Bombinomicon: Oh my. That explodes like THAT, does it? My contents are fascinating and not dangerous at all! This information changes everything I thought I knew about bombs and--- Young Demoman: Well, maybe a little peek... [He approaches the book and opens the pages slightly, peeking inside with his left eye, when the book suddenly swings open and a bright blue light comes out with a 'PZARP' sound, going directly into the young Demoman's eye] Young Demoman: ARRRRGHHHHHH! Bombinomicon: I haunted your eye! I totally did it! I'm haunting your eye RIGHT NOW! This is the greatest moment of my life! [Merasmus suddenly appears, infuriated, as the book rambles endlessly in the background] Merasmus: WHAT HAVE YE DONE? Now he'll never shut up about it! I have to live with this book, you know! We only have one chance! Brace yourself, boy! BAZBO BADARBA! [A light blue light emits from Merasmus' fingers as he casts his spell. The scene cuts back to the Demoman in the present and the three children, and a thought bubble showing the young Demoman with the same blue light coming from his left eye] Demoman: When I awoke, the magician was gone. The book was gone. The castle was gone. And my eye was gone. But they say, on Halloween night, at midnight, you can still spot my possessed eye stalking the Moors with that wicked magician, Merasmus. Soldier: Merasmus? The only thing that goldbricker's doing at midnight is not the dishes! [Scene pans to a doorway, with Merasmus sitting in the other room pointing at the Soldier angrily, as Soldier points back and Demoman stares in disbelief] Merasmus: LIAR! THOSE DISHES BE YOURS! Soldier: Don't make me come over there, Merasmus! Demoman: Good lord! After all these years... he's here? Soldier: He's my roommate. [Merasmus holds up a stick of celery with hummus on top of it] Merasmus: Celery sticks and hummus? What fool cursed this party with a vegetarian platter? [Soldier and Merasmus butt heads with eachother] Soldier: Nobody invited you, Merasmus! Merasmus: Do not anger Merasmus! A magician invites himself! Soldier: I am going to invite that staff straight up your ass and push you around like a broom! Merasmus: Well, that would certainly be the first time you swept anything! Soldier: You sunova... [Soldier proceeds to grab Merasmus' staff and snaps it with a 'CRACK' sound] Merasmus: Nooo! Soldier: Ha! Merasmus: FOOL! I pronounce this vile party over! I shall return to our apartment! You, on the other hand, will fight... MONOCULUS! [The scene shifts to outside, as the RED Heavy and Scout fight MONOCULUS using their Minigun and Pistol respectively. In the background on top of a building, Soldier and Merasmus are attacking eachother] Soldier: I am going to slap the magic out of your mouth! Merasmus: I'm calling the police! TO BE CONTINUED IN THE SCREAM FORTRESS VERY SCARY HALLOWEEN SPECIAL |
漫画页面(中文汉化)
漫画页面(英文原版)
漫画页面(无文本)
细枝末节
- 参见:魔眼
- 炸弹魔书的名称“Bombinomicon”参考了H.P.洛夫克拉夫特的小说作品中的虚拟书籍“Necronomicon(死灵之书)”。
- 漫画中间谍在派对中的着装与他的最初设计高度相似。
另见
外部链接
- TF2官方网站上的《炸弹魔书》
- TF2官方网站上的《炸弹魔书》推送消息
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