User:Calcium fiend/Joke Weapon Changes/Scout

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Joke changes for the Scout

Primary

Force-A-Nature

Sensible Version

Backpack Force-A-Nature.png

Force-A-Nature
Level 1 Scattergun
+40 pellets per shot
Knockback on wearer and the enemy
-84% clip size
-10% damage penalty
More extreme Force-A-Nature.

Shortstop

Sensible Version

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Shortstop
Level 1 Peppergun
+40% more accurate
+40% firing speed
On Hit: Builds Attitude
-34% clip size
-60% fewer pellets
-20% damage penalty
When Attitude is full, Alt-Fire to activate Attitude mode for mini-crits.
This weapon reloads its entire clip at once.

Stupid Version

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Shortstop
Level 1 Peppergun
On Hit: Mark enemy for death
Alt-Fire: Snap enemy’s neck, killing them instantly
-100% damage penalty

Back Scatter

Stupid Version

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Back Scatter
Level 24 Scattergun
Breaks enemies spine, preventing them from walking ever again
You have to pay medical bills for their lost spinal fluid
American healthcare

Secondary

C.A.P.P.E.R

Sensible Version

Backpack C.A.P.P.E.R.png

C.A.P.P.E.R
Level 1 Pistol
Does not require ammo
Alt-Fire: Fires a charged shot that pierces players, mini-crits them, and uses the whole clip
No random critical hits
Deals only 20% damage to buildings
Mini-crits when it would normally crit

Stupid Version

Backpack C.A.P.P.E.R.png

C.A.P.P.E.R
Level 1 Pistol
On Hit: Desintegraties enemies, killing them instantly
-85% slower firing speed
On Kill: Gives the user PTSD

Pretty Boy’s Pocket Pistol

Sensible Version

Backpack Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol.png

Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol
Level 1 Pistol
+15% faster firing speed
On Hit: Builds Boost
Run speed increases with Boost
-25% clip size

Mad Milk

Sensible Version

Backpack Mad Milk.png

Mad Milk
Level 1 Non-Milk Substance
Players heal 60% of the damage done to an enemy covered with milk
Enemies covered in milk are slowed
Extinguishing teammates reduces cooldown by -20%
Milk meter builds with damage done and/or time
Spawning and resupply do not affect the Milk meter
We don’t know what this liquid is, but we know it’s not milk

Melee

Sandman

Sensible Version

Backpack Sandman.png

Sandman
Level 15 Bat
Alt-Fire: Catch projectiles and toss them back!
-15% less health on wearer

Candy Cane

Stupid Version

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Candy Cane
Level 420 Bat
+20% move speed on wearer
Never go hungry
Weapon disintegrates in water
Makes your hands sticky!

Boston Basher

Stupid Version

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Boston Basher
Level 69 Bat
+15% damage bonus in water
On Hit: Enemy receives tetanus
On Miss: You receive tetanus

Sun-on-a-Stick

Stupid Version

Backpack Sun-on-a-Stick.png

Sun-on-a-Stick
Level 69 RIFT Fire Mace
On Hit: Enemy is infected with Black Lung
100% mini-crits against players with Black Lung
-25% damage penalty
On Miss: Give yourself Black Lung
Black Lung acts as Bleeding with a special coughing animation, and persists until death. Weapon taunting next to player with Black Lung will perform the Schadenfreude taunt.

Atomizer

Sensible Version

Backpack Atomizer.png

Atomizer
Level 72 Bat
+25% damage bonus
Melee attacks mini-crit while airborne
This weapon deploys 50% slower

See Also