User:Esky/Ramblings

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IRC Excerpts

A selection of my more eyebrow-raising Official Team Fortress Wiki IRC ramblings will be stored here for posterity. There is no particular reason for this, nor are the logs below of any practical use. Superfluous information; there's a paradox for you.

Excerpt #1

[12:00] <Esky> Sheesh, both the Wiki and the IRC are quiet today.
[12:00] <Esky> Even the membership list is smaller than usual.
[12:00] <Esky> Is there something interesting on television, or summat?
[12:04] <+Moussekateer> Oprah
[12:04] <Esky> I'm all alone then. Adrift on the calm, empty seas of the Official Team Fortress Wiki IRC...
[12:04] <Esky> Hark! The call of a lone seagull!
[12:05] <Esky> A seagull called "Oprah".
[12:05] <Esky> Intriguing.
[12:05] <+Moussekateer> mike mike mike
[12:06] <Esky> As I continue to write in my journal, the seagull begins calling "Mike!". Perhaps this vast ocean is not as empty as it appears.
[12:06] <Esky> Who is this "Mike" I wonder.
[12:06]  * Moussekateer poops on your head
[12:07] <Esky> The seagull is expressing anti-social sentiments. Apparently, it has returned merely to taunt me. Using some string and a small twig, I was able to capture it, and it is now tied to the mast of my raft.
[12:08] <Esky> It shall be the mascot for my long voyage.
[12:08] <+Moussekateer> caw
[12:08] <+Moussekateer> The RSPCA will have something to say about this
[12:08] <Esky> It appears that thes seagull has a touch of raven in its pedigree. Either that, or it is merely imitating other avian varieties. Perhaps a plea for attention? I'll feed it some raw fish.
[12:10] <Esky> Apparently the seagull does not care for fish. If only I had some rice wine and glutinous rice to go with the fish and seaweed, I could make sushi.
[12:10] <Esky> As I continue to write, I see a storm brewing in the distance. A most unusual storm. Perhaps, in my boredom, I am merely hallucinating.
[12:12] <Esky> The seagull has not uttered a sound for days. I have therefore freed it, and threw it aloft into the air. The splash that resulted was most depressing.
[12:13] <Esky> Have run out of food. Raft coming apart. Pen running out of ink. Damn you, Mitsubishi Pencil Co!
[12:13] <+Moussekateer> O.O
[12:13] <+Moussekateer> You crazy
[12:14] <Esky> As the waters close over my head (and yet I continue to write), I think thought that I heard a voice. But alas, it was only the wind. Farewell...
[12:14]  * Esky drowns
[12:15] <Esky> Well, that was fun ten minutes.
[12:15] <Esky> At least I can amuse myself.
...
[12:17] <Esky> Well hopefully I amused someone else as well.
[12:17] <+Moussekateer> 'amused'
[12:18] <+Moussekateer> If that's a synonym for creeped out then yes
[12:20] <Esky> You know, you try to keep yourself amused by creating a subtle parody of everything from "The Old Man in the Sea" to the opening cutscene in "The Curse of Monkey Island" in one fascinating package, and people get "creeped out".
[12:20] <Esky> Stifle my creativity, will you?!
[12:20] <Esky> Fair enough.
[12:22] <+Moussekateer> :p


Excerpt #2

[13:32] <+Tturbo> I hate Australian
[13:32] <+Tturbo> I Hate Canada
[13:32] <Esky> Aww.
[13:32] <+Tturbo> (and Francis do say that)
[13:32] <Esky> Everyone loves Australia and its residents.
...
[13:32] <Esky> Just ask Pilk and Netshroud.
[13:33] <Flot> How is everyone liking this new update?
..
[13:33] <Flot> I love the fan.
[13:33] <+Tturbo> Esky: I hate fish
[13:33] <Esky> And seb and... the others.
[13:33] <Netshroud> lol Esky
[13:33] <+Pilk> Everyone love Australia, just ask Esky and Netshroud
[13:33] <+Pilk> and seb
[13:33] <+Tturbo> => I hate australians
...
[13:33] <Esky> See?
[13:33] <Netshroud> Eveyone loves Australia, just as Seb, Esky and Pilk
[13:33] <Wintergreen> I fuckin' love Australians.


Excerpt #3

[10:42] <Sp3c> I went to a range...
[10:42] <Sp3c> A shooting rand XD
[10:42] <Sp3c> Range*
[10:42] <MogDog66> ranger sp3c
[10:42] <Sp3c> ?
[10:43] <Sp3c> MogDog66: don't worry it was only a .38
...
[10:46] <Esky> Your accuracy was only .38%? You need to practice more.
[10:46]  * Esky snickers
[10:46] <Sp3c> :|
...
[10:47] <+WindPower> Yeah sorry Espooty, but that one was disappointing
[10:47] <Esky> Intentionally.
[10:47] <+WindPower> tss tss
[10:47] <Esky> I'm lowering expectations in order to exceed them.
[10:47]  * Esky tents fingers
[10:47] <+WindPower> tss tssure tssure
[10:47] <Esky> It's all falling into place.
[10:48] <Esky> Are you saying that my last joke was of... poor calibre?
[10:48] <+WindPower> Bit better :3
...
[10:48] <Esky> And BANG! there goes the pun. See? I had to introduce my own setup. Work with me, people!
...
[10:48] <Esky> Always a plan, and to think that you doubted me.
[10:48] <Esky> Shame!
[10:48]  * WindPower hangs head :(
[10:49]  * Esky winks


Excerpt #4

[2011-11-24 19:15:33] <WindPower> oi sebbers, how did le exam go (if it went yet)
[2011-11-24 19:15:40] <_seb> ye it went
[2011-11-24 19:15:46] <_seb> it went gud
[2011-11-24 19:16:03] <Epic_Eric> Tturbo: -_-
[2011-11-24 19:16:08] <Pilk> hello Tturbo
[2011-11-24 19:16:11] <Pilk> hello everyone else
[2011-11-24 19:16:11] <Tturbo> XD
[2011-11-24 19:16:12] <Pilk> I had an exam too! :O What on seb?
[2011-11-24 19:16:16] <_seb> meth
[2011-11-24 19:16:28] <_seb> math
[2011-11-24 19:16:29] <_seb> lol
[2011-11-24 19:16:35] <Tturbo> I've always wondered how seb could be such a masheen
[2011-11-24 19:16:37] <Pilk> woww
[2011-11-24 19:16:39] <Tturbo> now I know !
[2011-11-24 19:16:41] <Tturbo> ¨DRUGS !
[2011-11-24 19:16:59] <_seb> Wind; many Qs about circumference of circle believe it or not olol
[2011-11-24 19:17:11] <_seb> so leetle K string exercise was handeh
[2011-11-24 19:17:16] <WindPower> yey
[2011-11-24 19:17:43] <WindPower> Did my solution make sense or wat
[2011-11-24 19:17:52] <_seb> not rly (eep)
[2011-11-24 19:17:53] <Esky> So it was a well-rounded examination then?
[2011-11-24 19:18:05] <Epic_Eric> FAK
[2011-11-24 19:18:09] <_seb> not saying it was wrong but just i dun geddit
[2011-11-24 19:18:10] <WindPower> dgfdsgdh
[2011-11-24 19:18:13] * Epic_Eric slaps Esky
...
[2011-11-24 19:18:27] <_seb> 'The Slap' 7.30 Friday
[2011-11-24 19:18:27] <Esky> Sorry, I'll try to make my puns more circumspect in the future.
[2011-11-24 19:18:39] * Epic_Eric punches Esky
[2011-11-24 19:18:46] <Esky> Ow, you hit my radius!
[2011-11-24 19:18:51] * Moussekateer guides Esky to the door
[2011-11-24 19:18:51] <_seb> i like that picture Epic_Eric http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16811807/images/1320199974629.jpg
[2011-11-24 19:18:53] <Epic_Eric> Kay, that one was bad


Excerpt #5

<@Spacenet> TF2 BLOG UPDATED! (False alarm #6)
<Esky> I'm not looking.
<MogDog66> Nothin'
<Cructo> ohh
<MrMagoolachub> Esky: Wise man
...
<@Spacenet> TF2 BLOG UPDATED! (False alarm #7)
<Esky> MrMagoolachub: Man? I could say the same of you! Although from memory you are a member of the "Gorgeous Girl Gamers" group, which is a little off for someone with the prefix "Mr".
<Cructo> uhhh
<Cructo> why do they keep removing
<Esky> I'm still not looking.
<Cructo> the spotlight item
<Cructo>  and readding
<Cructo> this is getting annoying
<+Moussekateer> dunno
<Esky> Cructo: Bulbs are too expensive.
<+Moussekateer> It's amoosing to me though
<Cructo> lol
...
<MrMagoolachub> Esky: Hey now, I'm also a member of the "GUY GAMERZZZ" group
...
<Tele-Toys> Gay gamerzz?
...
<MrMagoolachub> No, Guy Gamerzzz, don't hit on us you silly girls
<Esky> MrMagoolachub: Do you have gender-confusion issues? It's alright, you can tell me.
...
»» Esky chuckles
<Tele-Toys> lol MsMagoolachub
»» Esky snickers
<Cructo> lol
<MrMagoolachub> Stop judging meeee ;~~;
<Esky> Tee-hee!


Excerpt #6

<Vorsprung> I always got confused by Benjamin Button.
<Vorsprung> Like, eventually, he'd become a baby, right?
<Vorsprung> So he'd eventually regress into a foetus?
<Vorsprung> Reverse-pregnancy?
<+Moussekateer> As soon I was born I took my place on the front lawn to shoo people off it
<Magnum> i was born in 1519
<Armisael_> well. i suspect he'd die before getting to the fetus stage
<Magnum> lol j/k
<Vorsprung> Perhaps he'd just turn into matter.
<Vorsprung> But the real question is how was he born.
<Vorsprung> Was he like a zombie, emerging from a grave?
<+Moussekateer> >>
»» Esky lends Mousse spare "shaking" cane
<TheHoboKing> guess what hobo was born as
<Vorsprung> Enlighten me.
<Armisael_> (a hobo)
<TheHoboKing> Armisael_ may be on to something
<Armisael_> (technically, a hobo prince)
<TheHoboKing> No
<TheHoboKing> I was born the king
<TheHoboKing> full beard and all
<+Moussekateer> On the day of my birth frogs fell from the sky and night lasted for several days
<Vorsprung> I imagine that would be rather scratchy, for all intensive purposes.
<Magnum> lucky
<Magnum> whenever i decapitate someone i steal their life energy
<Vorsprung> Apparently, my birth was heralded by a legion of flying testicles.
<Esky> So your birth was a... balls-up?
...
<+Moussekateer> Lol
...
<+Moussekateer> Take the night off Esky, you're done
...
»» Esky bows


Excerpt #7

<Ashes_> Welp got me a breakout case for CSGO
<Ashes_> to bad no keys :/
<Fuzzeh> cool
<Fuzzeh> :(
<Fuzzeh> #FirstWorldProblems
...
<Esky> Ashes_: You have a Breakout Case? I'm pretty sure Clearasil have a cream for that.
<Fuzzeh> L
<Fuzzeh> O
<Fuzzeh> L
»» Esky snickers
<Ashes_> oh haha
<Ashes_> very funny Esky
<Fuzzeh> LOL
<Fuzzeh> "oh haha"
...
»» Esky still got it