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Hire Date: September 18, 2007 (15:36:32 GMT)

It's better than fantasy baseball and baseball card collecting while all in the same place! Thanks Valve for an extraordinary game.

Gentle Manne Crop.png This user owns 1344 hats! (Probably 1343 more than you do, you poor, Irish bastard.)


Season 3 for the Army of NoochLand commenced on September 8, 2011. The Army's arsenal has expanded with an additional 3 gaming machines, and enrollment has increased from 128 members to 301 members thru the end of November. Nooch determined at the conclusion of his 2nd Tour that his next campaign would engage his members once every 14 days for 15 hours, instead of 9 hours every week. The new stratedgy is proving very successful!

After 63 days, both objectives missed during the summer, the The Replay Update items and Über Update items, as well as the current Manniversary_Update items, were fulifilled. Also, the generous Manniversary Package's yielded NoochLand members hundreds of Manniversary Paper Hats that Nooch promptly and efficiently crafted into over a hundred new random Hats for his coffers. Begining December, the Army is stockpiling refined metal while some Very Scary Halloween Special items and Promotions remain outstanding. Nooch anticipates Christmas 2011 will be another worthy challenge, and Army of NoochLand is poised to attack!


Nooch is the relentless leader of the Army of NoochLand. The NoochLand members are dedicated to increasing Nooch's collection of Unique Items. Started in December 2009 with 8 recruits for the War! Update, the ranks immediately expanded to 12 members thereafter. The Army's 1st campaign began December 28th. The soldier's fought 24/7 for over 10 weeks straight. Then, on the 73rd day, the Army fulfilled its objectives and secured all 36 Unique Hats available.

Six months later, The Mann-Conomy Update proved to be the next worthy challenge. During both the 119th Update and The Engineer Update, Army of NoochLand was on leave and not active for any summertime months. Nooch quickly depleted his 100+ refined metal reserve, from Season 1, trading for hats issued after the Army's original campaign ended, and again completed his collection. Then, Army of NoochLand was called back to duty October 13, 2010.

With an additional 26 members enlisted, the Army's 2nd Tour set it's sights on first, the new Mann-Conomy Update items. Then second, the new Scream Fortress Update items. After 33 days all objectives were complete. In addition, the new Poker Night at the Inventory items were promptly acquired during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

Army of NoochLand continued expanding its ranks during Winter 2011. Enrollment grew to 60 members for the Australian Christmas Update. Double Drop-Rate Week proved to be a tremendous success. And, Miss Pauling Stocking Stuffer Key gifts yielded a plethora of hats. Sadly, promotional items have become a regular unexciting occurrence in the TF2 Universe following Australian Christmas. And, in only 3 months Nooch became dissuaded by the pitfalls of Trading.

Begining February 2011, Nooch determined LAN Heat reduced NoochLand home heating oil consumption by more than half in the prior year timeframe. Encouraged by offset electrical costs, Army of NoochLand expanded again to 128 active members and 36 reserves awaiting license. The Army's 2nd Tour concluded April 12, 2011, but the quest for more Items continues.


One Eye! One Horn!

"Hats are nice, but ladies chase a big stack of metal!"
— Nooch



The introduction of the item drop cap has presented both challenges and opportunity for the Army of NoochLand that did not exist with the original item drop system. As data becomes available, after each Army of NoochLand campaign concludes, results will be published here.


Heading Campaign1.1 Campaign2.1 Campaign2.2 Campaign2.3 Campaign3.1 TOTAL
start date Dec28,2009 Oct13,2010 Dec22,2010 Feb16,2011 Sep5,2011 Dec28,2009
stop date Mar15,2010 Dec22,2010 Feb16,2011 Apr12,2011 Nov30,2011 Nov30,2011
weeks 11 10 8 8 10 47
total hours 21,336 3,660 5,200 9,840 14,738 54,774
electric bill $257.07 $115.17 $146.52 $170.39 $163.02 $852.17
items dropped 5,159 3,807 6,526 10,402 17,855 43,749
items per week 469.00 380.70 815.75 1300.25 1785.50 930.83
items per hour 0.24 1.04 1.26 1.06 1.21 0.80
kilowatt hours 2337 1047 1332 1549 1482 7747
items per Kwh 2.21 3.64 4.90 6.72 12.05 5.65
cost per item $0.050 $0.030 $0.022 $0.016 $0.009 $0.019
gaming pc's 12 6 12 12 12 12+
user accounts 12.00 36.60 65.00 123.00 105.70 301
hats 84 35 70 112 209 510


This is a work in progress, more to come...


  • Possessed All 36 original hats on Wednesday, March 10, 2010. Blog Entry
  • Original drop system produced 40.62 items per week; Current drop system producing 173.22 items per week average.
  • NoochLand produces a refined metal approximately every hour when running 16 machines, or 11 refined metal every 15 hours when running 12 machines.
  • Most item drops in NoochLand during 1 week: 2811 items | 169 accounts from 12/1 to 12/7


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