Teufort (city)
Teufort, New Mexico | |
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Information | |
Country: United States State: New Mexico Population: 1280[1] (1968) |
“ | That's why we give you guys bottled water.
— Miss Pauling, on keeping the mercenary's minds sharp as tacks
|
” |
Teufort (also known as "America's Gravel Basket"[1], "The City That Never Seeps"[2], "The Big Gravel"[3], and "Manhattan of the Badlands"[1]) is a fictional town, located in the Badlands region in the American Southwest. The town itself adjoins the 2Fort facilities. Some historical events related to the Gravel Wars take place in the environs and institutions of the community. Teufort is also the city that held the trials as well as the attempted hangings of RED Spy and Scout. The town also has a large landfill in the center of the town blocking multiple businesses such as Giuseppe's Pizza. The residents accused the mercenaries of turning the school into a parking lot and many other things. These were in fact the major's imbecilic doings, the mayor in his ignorance using alegal methods in running the town, in executions, and in education.
Contents
History
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According to local publication[4], the settlement was founded by Claude Huggins, of whom was the lone survivor of a bear attack, who originally named the town "Hugginsville". He later renamed the town to "Two Farts" in 1847 during an incident with a group of teenage bullies where he was forced to. Huggins, whom was afraid to return the establishment's name to Hugginsville due to his incident, renamed the town to "Teufort"[4].
Geography
Teufort is situated within the northeast Badlands region of New Mexico.
Demographics
Population: 1280
Economy
Teufort is located in a fertile agricultural area within the Badlands.
The community boasts an incredibly active economy given its small population. Major commercial enterprises include the modern Teufort Mall[5] and a large bank.[6]
Arts and culture
“ | Teufort: It is horrible
|
” |
Points of interest
- The Alamo
- Town Square City Dump[7], featuring a statue of founder Claude Huggins[4], commemorating "A Proud Legacy of Hiding".
- The "Tom Jones Museum"
- Renaissance Festival
- Merasmus's Ancient Sumerian Carnival[8]
Media
Several local and area publications are essential in communicating local events and promoting businesses and products.
- Local Newspapers
- Area Newspapers
Government
- Mayor and Judge (1972) : "Mayor Mike"[13]
- Teufort Police Department
- Teufort Department of Corrections[5]
- Park Ranger Service[14]
Education
- Elementary School[15] (later rezoned into a parking lot[16]).
- Public Library[17] (location of the world's largest continuously burning book fire).
Environmental issues
- The city's reputation for improper environmental control has earned it the moniker "Home of the Eternal Sewage".
- The facilities at 2Fort have contaminated the Teufort water supply with lead for over a generation.[18]
- The John Doe Raccoon Sanctuary is currently housing every raccoon in the greater Badlands area.
Transportation
- Teufort is served by the Northern Express Railroad.
- Passenger jet service is available at the city's airport.[19]
Notable people
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- The Mysterious Teufort Arsonist. Teufort seems to have the world's most pro-active arsonist, starting fires in barns just about every night. This is not aided by the fact that Teufort does not actually have a fire department.[citation needed]
- Claude Huggins. Founder of "Hugginsville", which later became Two Farts and finally Teufort.[4]
- Merasmus. Cross-dressing,[20][21] Scottish immigrant magician and entrepreneur, local enterprises included the local Renaissance Festival and Haunted Theme Park. He is suspected of involvement with organized crime[22][23] and was incarcerated for the murder of Tom Jones.
- Guiseppe. Pizza shop owner whose pizza shop was closed after a city dump was placed in the middle of Teufort's town square, ultimately denying access to the shop. His original name was Trevor, but he was renamed Guiseppe by Mayor Mike, who forced him to talk and dress like an Italian stereotype for ten years.[24]
- Mayor Mike. Mayor and Judge of Teufort.
Trivia
- Miss Pauling went on her vacation in Teufort during the Tough Break Update and sent the team several postcards.
See also
References
- ↑ a b c Comic page, Meet the Director
- ↑ Update page, City on Fire, Pyromania Update
- ↑ Update page, City on Fire, Pyromania Update
- ↑ a b c d Comic page, A Cold Day in Hell
- ↑ a b Comic page, A Smissmas Story
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Tough Break Postcard
- ↑ Comic page, A Smissmas Story
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Update page, WAR! Update
- ↑ Comic page, Ring of Fired
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Comic page, Doom-Mates
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ [1]
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Comic page, Unhappy Returns
- ↑ Comic page "Don't worry , ma'am." , Blood Money
- ↑ Comic page "some old idiot in a dress" , Gargoyles & Gravel
- ↑ Comic page, Blood Money
- ↑ Comic page, Gargoyles & Gravel
- ↑ [2]