Ring of Fired
| Ring of Fired | |
|---|---|
| Comic Strip Info | |
| Released: | August 27, 2013 |
| Number of pages: | 68 |
| Artist: | Heather "makani" Campbell |
| Writer: | Erik Wolpaw |
| Colorist: | Nick Filardi |
| “ | Hh hh hh hh! Yesh, Saxshton. And when you can't, Mann Co. is mine.
— Gray Mann
|
” |
Ring of Fired (also known as Team Fortress Comics #1) is a comic released on August 27, 2013 Patch. It is the first part of the seven-part Team Fortress Comics series. The series was originally announced as a bi-monthly publication, but after the releasing the second issue Unhappy Returns (also known as Team Fortress Comics #2), the series was published at ever increasing intervals, up to more than 7 years.
Contents
Synopsis
The comic opens with Saxton Hale jumping from a plane with the pilot, Jerry, and the stuffed and mounted yeti he fought and captured a year earlier on the eve of the Robot War and had recently killed with his bare hands at Yeti Park. After landing in Mann Co. Headquarters, he is confronted by Gray Mann who has come for the "Mann Co. Challenge"; if the CEO of another company defeats Hale in unarmed combat, they take over. Gray, however, reveals that his 7-year-old daughter, Olivia, is the owner of Gray Gravel. Saxton refuses to fight her, and thus the company is transferred to Gray, who fires the mercenaries. Hale leaves the country, and Miss Pauling finds that the Administrator has also vanished, leaving the message "Miss Pauling... hide" on the computer screen.
Six months later, the Soldier is now leading a tour of celebrities' homes where he, and a group of elderly women, run to Tom Jones's home where Merasmus is living. The Soldier kills Tom, and Merasmus calls the police. Soon enough, Miss Pauling, dressed as a police officer, "arrests" Soldier and tells him that they need to find the rest of the team. They lure Pyro from his job as CEO of Frontier Engineering by setting fire to a nearby building, while Demoman readily joins them despite becoming overweight and even more of an alcoholic. Miss Pauling explains that the Administrator, whose current whereabouts are still unknown, gave the order to reassemble the mercenaries.
Meanwhile, Gray Mann finds that Mann. Co's entire supply of Australium has been taken, presumably by Her. It is revealed that Gray's life-extending machine is powered by Australium and that his own supply is starting to run low. An unseen figure explains that all the other Australium sites have been emptied as well.
The team, now consisting of the Soldier, Pyro, Demoman and Miss Pauling, make plans to fly to Siberia and Australia to pick up Heavy and Sniper, respectively. Demoman mentions that Medic now has "a fancy job", while Miss Pauling worries as the Engineer has become especially hard to find. While they deliberate as to where the remaining mercenaries are, they find a newspaper saying that the Scout and Spy have been arrested and will be hanged for large-scale acts of vandalism.
Transcript
| Page 1-8: Saxton & Jerry |
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| [Title page features Saxton Hale walking away butt naked from a trash can with his hat, shorts and an assortment of junk. Title: "Man Co No More!"]
[The Comic opens with darkness and a 'CRASH', SAW SAW SAW, 'SKKTTCHHH'] Jerry: Mister Hale? 'SMASH', 'CREEEEAKKK', 'PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH' Jerry: Mister Hale, is everything alright? [The panel shows Jerry the pilot outside of the cargo hold, 'SMASH SMASH SMASH'] Jerry: It, uh... sounds like something's tearing the plane apart in there. [Jerry knocks on the door to the cargo hold door 'KNOCK KNOCK'] Jerry: Hello? Mister Hale? [Jerry turns his head to peer around the corner] Jerry: Sir? ['EERIE SILENCE'] Jerry: Mister HaleeEAGHHH! [A massive yeti leaps out at Jerry with jaws wide open, sharp teeth and killer eyes, Jerry falls back into the floor in fright.] [Saxton Hale peers around the corner to Jerry who's standing back up, rubbing his head.] Saxton: It's stuffed, Jerry. What's up? We there yet? [Jerry steps into the cargo hold as Saxton picks up and moves his yeti.] Jerry: About a minute out, sir. I, uh... was asked to remind you about our new insurance policy. No more jumping out of the plane. Saxton: I heard. What if there was engine trouble? Could we jump out of the plane then? Jerry: Well... Sure. We'd have to evacuate if- Saxton: Here, hold these engine parts. [Saxton Hale hands Jerry a ripped out handful of wires and turns around.] [Jerry stares blankly down at the wires in his hand, as he knows what Saxton is doing. Smoke and fire fill the room as Saxton hums a tune waiting for the cargo hold door to open, preparing to jump with the yeti tucked under his arm.] Saxton: SAXTON HAAAAAALE! [Saxton Hale now freefalling out of the sky still holding his stuffed yeti with Jerry clinging onto it for dear life screaming in fear as the entire plane starts to go down on fire.] Jerry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [Saxton narrates over]: At this point in a Batman comic, your hero'd be kneeling in an alley, crying over some dead opera lovers! NOT HERE! With Team Fortress comics, you'll get only the highest quality WHITE-KNUCKLED PROSE! Then we'll smash it like a FIERY ZEPPELIN into ACTION-GORGED DRAWINGS of me holding yetis I killed with my bare hands while I plummet out of planes that I also just killed with my bare hands! Get ready for the most monumental event in comics history: an ONGOING SERIES starring ME (plummeting to my death!) and also the MERCENARIES WHO WORK FOR ME (not currently plummeting to their deaths, but just you wait!) Almost forgot! Here's the title of the first issue! Part One: Ring of Fired |
| Page 9-25: Gray Mann's Takeover |
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| ['SMASH!' Saxton Hale crashes through the window of office in Mann Co.]
['SKOOTCH SKOOTCH' Saxton carefully places down the yeti against the wall with Jerry still clinging on terrified.] Saxton: Annnnd... There. Jerry: AAAAAAAA [Mr. Bidwell and Mr. Reddy stand there, present and awaiting Saxton.] Bidwell: Welcome back, Sir. Saxton: BIDWELL! Bloody marvellous to see you. I'll bet you remember THIS savage fellow.* [*See "A Fate Worse Than Chess"] Bidwell: Vividly, sir. Saxton: How'd that whole "Mann co. Under attack by robots" business go, anyway? You and the mercs sort it out? Bidwell: Not... ...Exactly, Sir. [Suddenly, Gray Mann and his army of robots come through the office's doors with smoke covering the ground as they come in.] [Saxton quickly and dramatically points at Gray Mann, with a fierce stare.] Saxton: YOU. [Saxton looks back at Mr. Bidwell and Mr. Reddy.] Saxton: Bidwell, who is this? Bidwell: Gray Mann, Sir. The one attacking us. With robots. [Gray Mann steps forward.] Gray Mann: Not... QUITE, mister bidwell. Thanks to those mercenary BRUTES of yours, our war has somehow turned into YET ANOTHER intractible stalemate. I will NOT repeat the mistakes of my idiot brothers.* [*See "Blood Brothers".] [Gray Mann intimidatingly puts his hands on Saxton's desk and stares over at him with a devilish grin.] Gray Mann: The war is over, Hale. You win. I GIVE UP. I'm here to offer you a NEW proposition. [Gray Mann stares more sinisterly as smoke starts to come off of his hands.] Gray Mann: All or NOTHING. Winner... Take... [Gray Mann's hands start to smoke and sizzle on the desk, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS] [Gray Mann pulls his now burnt hands off the table, horrified.] Gray Mann: ...ALGGHHHH! What is wrong with your DESK? [Gray Mann clutches his hands in shock and pain, as Saxton cracks an egg on the table SIZZLE along with another egg and 2 steaks.] Saxton: Nothing! I think you'll find your hands have been seared to a perfect 135 degrees. Gray Mann: MY FLESH! IT FALLS OFF MY BONES! Saxton: Ha! You said it! Wait'll you see what it does to these ribeyes! Don't fill up on hand meat, now! Save room for steak and eggs! [Gray Mann turns back towards Saxton with an angry look.] Gray Mann: I'm not... Here for EGGS, Hale. I'm here for the MANN CO. CHALLENGE. [Saxton turns to his left and points with his spatula at Mr. Bidwell.] Saxton: Bidwell? Bidwell: The CEO of any other company can take over Mann Co. legally if they beat you in unarmed combat, Sir. Saxton: That's a FANTASTIC policy. Bidwell: You write it, Sir. Saxton: Wait. So is this swallow-chested old MUMMY saying what I sincerely pray to god that he's saying? [Gray Mann looks at Saxton with a smug grin, still clenching his hands.] Gray Mann: Heh. In a manner of speaking, YES. Let- GLGK. ['GRAB', And in an instant, Saxton quickly grabs Gray Mann's neck with both hands.] [Saxton gleefully starts punching Gray Mann in the face while humming a tune, 'BAPADABAPADABAPADABAP'] Gray Mann: Spth! Wait! Shtop! [Gray Mann now with a black eye and a swollen face, with Saxton still squeezing his neck with one hand.] Saxton: What's up? [Saxton looks at him eyebrows raised with deep intent.] Gray Mann: Not ME, you ithiot! I'M not the CEO oph Gray Gravel! Saxton: Then who is? Gray Mann: Her. [Gray Mann smirks and points behind Saxton.] Olivia: Now, Daddy? [Standing there, staring up Saxton Hale with a big smile, is Olivia Mann, a small little girl.] Saxton: You... You want me to beat up a little girl? [Saxton still got his hand wrapped around Gray Mann's neck.] Gray Mann: Hh Hh Hh Hh! Yesh, Saxshton. And when you can't MANN CO. IS MINE. [Saxton still has his fist raised to punch him.] Saxton: Oooo, you rotten old son of a bitch. I'll- Olivia: HALE! [Olivia points up at Saxton, who's looking down at her surprised by her aggravation.] Olivia: I haven't got all day. [FNAP, Olivia puts on her fingerless gloves with an fierce look in her eyes.] [Olivia comes in swing her arms ready to attack, Saxton just stands there and watches her come at him.] Olivia: Enh! Rff! Saxton: Hm. [Saxton watches as Olivia punches his legs repeatedly to no effect. He raises his fist above her head.] Saxton: Alright. Maybe if I... Olivia: Rnnnrah! [Saxton puts his hand on his chin and starts to think of what he can do, as Olivia stomps on his foot.] Saxton: No. Olivia: Enh! [Saxton lifts his foot up as Olivia clings on.] Saxton: Stomping... Olivia: MY! COMPANY! [Saxton picks up her up, looking more defeated as she kicks her feet around and bites Saxton's hand.] Saxton: Neck Snap? Olivia: Coward! [Saxton kneels down to her and scratches his head as Olivia starts punching his arm. PAP-A-PAP-PAP PAP-A-PAP-PAP] [Saxton sits down and crosses his legs as he keeps thinking looking more defeated as Olivia stands on his back as she angrily hammers her fists on his head TONK TONK TONK TONK TONK] [Saxton jumps up frustrated and angry.] Saxton: HOT SAUCE! I can't do it! Saxton Hale will NOT FIGHT A CHILD. Saxton: Think, Saxton. Think think think... [Saxton quickly and frantically turns to Mr. Bidwell.] Saxton: BIDWELL! Congratulations, you're CEO. Now fight this little girl! Bidwell: Sir, I'm hardly going to FISTFIGHT a CHILD just to get a prom— Saxton: Finefinefine. Bidwell, you're fired. [Saxton points to Mr. Reddy.] Saxton: Reddy? Same deal. Go get her, champ. Reddy: Yes, Sir. [Mr. Reddy starts walking towards Olivia with his arms out ready to grab her, Saxton looks on with a happy smile. Mr. Bidwell steps in and stops Reddy from getting to her.] Bidwell: Reddy! [Saxton, Bidwell, Reddy and Olivia all look down at Gray Mann rolling on the floor in laughter.] Gray Mann: Hh Hh Hh! I BEAT you, Hale. Olivia: WE beat him, Daddy. Gray Mann: Yes we did, Olivia. Saxton: *sigh* fine. Little girl, you're CEO of Mann Co. I'll just grab my trophies and go. Olivia: They're MY trophies now. GET OUT. [Saxton looks defeated but then perks up excitedly and shouts.] Saxton: Oh, I'LL get out. I'll FIGHT my way out through that WALL OF ROBOTS for starters, and then I'll--- Gray Mann: No. You're free to go. Robots! Non-violence mode! [Saxton taken back by that, unsure what to do, as the robots form a line on both sides of the door, guiding a path for Saxton out the door.] Saxton: I— you— Oh, come on, that's not— Gray Mann: go. Saxton: Non-violence mode, eh? We'll see about... That! ['TONK' Saxton uppercuts a robot's head right off its body and up into the air. All the robots remain still and unflinching.] Saxton: C'mon FIGHT, you tin cans! RNH! RRGHH! RRRARRGH! ['CRNK' Saxton kicks the robot up and hits the roof.] [Saxton raises his arms and yells to the roof in defeat.] Saxton: SOMETHING FIGHT ME! [All the robots turn and face the door as Saxton Hale walks out with his head hung down low in defeat.]
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| Page 26-28: Miss Pauling |
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| Pauling: ADMINISTRATOR? ...Hh... ...Hh... ADMINISTRATOR?
[Miss Pauling bursts into The Administrator's office.] Pauling: ADMINISTRATOR! ...Hh... ...Hh... Hh... He did it! He... Hh... Actually did it! GRAY MANN'S TAKEN CONTROL OF MANN CO! Hale's left the country, Gray fired the Mercs, and... and... Administrator? [Miss Pauling stares at The Administrator's office. The chair is toppled over, along with the microphone with the cord ripped out. The ash tray upside down with ash spilling out onto the floor, the screens all static except for one saying: "MISS PAULING ... HIDE"] |
| Page 29-44: Soldier's Tour |
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| [Title card: "Six Months Later"]
[Within the silhouette of the blue sky, Soldier's shadow stands tall against a fence with a group of people following behind.] Soldier: COMMMPANYYY... HALT! Soldier: LISTEN, UP MEN! Behind me! Between those two cows! THREE HUNDRED BRAVE MEN died defending Fort Stanwix from the British! Mildred: I don't see a fort... Soldier: WHAT? If it was not for these men, you would all be SPEAKING ENGLISH right now! BRITISH ENGLISH! These men puked blood for your freedom! And by god, you blind old ladies WILL see their fort! [It's revealed that Soldier is touring a group of elderly women, through a large empty field] Mildred: Mister Doe, your brochure promised us a tour of CELEBRITIES' HOMES. [Soldier tilts up with helmet to meet eye to eye with the elderly woman.] Soldier: Sister, you are LOOKING at their home! It will be a dark knight tonight! Because all the stars are BURIED IN THIS FIELD! Mildred: Mister Doe, soldiers are NOT celebrities. If you're not going to show us where famous people live, Mister Doe... ...I want a refund. [Soldier and the elderly woman, turn face to face snarling at each other.] Soldier: So you soppy old slop rags want MOVIE STARS, huh? [Soldier leans in with a devilish grin.] Soldier: I know JUST THE PLACE. ['SHOVE' Soldier shoves the elderly woman in the face and turns away.] Soldier: Dismissed! Alright, troops, listen up! [Soldier points up to the sky as the American flag appears in the background, behind him.] Soldier: We have got a LONG MARCH ahead of us! So we will need to TRAVEL LIGHT if we are going to run there! YOU! Drop the purse! [Soldier grabs one of the ladies purses and throws it behind him. Then turns to another and pulls her wig off.] Soldier: YOU! This wig is going to get you killed! [Soldier points off into the distance.] Soldier: If your pacemakers have any alarms, TURN THEM OFF! Because WE ARE MOVING OUT! [Title card: "1400 Hours." Soldier runs past a house as the elderly women follow behind.] Soldier: To your left is where Dick Van Dyke held his guts in his hands after taking a musket shot in the stomach from Ava and Zsa Zsa Gabor! [Title card: "1600 Hours." Soldier keeps running with the elderly women falling behind, exhausted, slouching, and collapsing.] Soldier: See those submerged logs over there? That is The Beatles! DO NOT STOP RUNNING! [Title card: "1900 Hours." Soldier runs into somebody's house with only a few of the elderly ladies left with him.] Ethel: We left Mildred at the last stop! Soldier: She is DEAD, Ethel! Focus! Old Woman #1: Whose HOUSE is this? [Two of the women stare at a picture on the wall.] Ethel: That's TOM JONES! Old Woman #2: Oh my! We're actually inside a real celebrity's home! Thank you, Mister Doe! Soldier: Stay frosty, ladies! [Tom Jones himself enters the room, as soldier sneaks up behind him.] Tom Jones: Wot's all this then? Who the [Two of the women looking at a picture of Tom Jones.] HELL are you people? What are you doing in me bloody home? Soldier: 'HUTTAH!' ['NECK SNAP!'' Soldier snaps Tom Jones's neck from behind, killing him instantly. Someone from upstairs, starts walking down wearing bunny slippers.] Voice: Tom? I heard a cracking noise! Are you cracking some popcorn? Because I already made some! [The elderly women scream in horror at the sight. One of them repeatedly snap pictures on their camera, 'CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK'] Old Woman #1: Oh my god oh my god Merasmus: YOU! [The person walking downstairs, drops their popcorn and is revealed to be Merasmus the wizard.] Soldier: Hello, Merasmus! [Soldier happily waves at Merasmus, as Tom Jones's body remains lifeless on the ground.] Merasmus: You-- Why-- Why can't I ever be RID OF YOU? I'm calling the police! [Soldier walks up to Merasmus, face to face with a big smile.] Soldier: Go ahead, Merasmus. They'll probably give me a MEDAL! I am fully within my legal rights as your old roommate to kill your stupid NEW roommate! I am living in a BOX Merasmus! Merasmus: But-- But you evicted me from my own castle!* Why don't you live THERE? [*See "Doom-Mates!"] Soldier: I lost my Mercenary job! They took everything! I was sad! So I killed Tom Jones. Merasmus: That doesn't even make sense! ['KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK', Someone knocks at the door.] Officer: Open up! Police! Soldier: The heart makes its own rules, Merasmus. Merasmus: Soldier, I have lived for six thousand years... ...And agreeing to be your roommate is MY ONLY REGRET! You are FINALLY going to get what you SO RICHLY DESERVE! Officers! You may ENTER! Soldier: Keep staying frosty, girls. [Merasmus opens the front door the officer enters and reveals to be Miss Pauling disguised in a police uniform and fake moustache.] Pauling: Um. Alright, everybody calm down! Ma'am, is this your Tom Jonses corpse? Merasmus: Indeed, Officer! And THAT MAN is the cause of it! [Miss Pauling walks towards soldier and starts putting handcuffs on him.] Pauling: I don't know how things work in the Badlands, son, but around here we don't take kindly to murdering Tom Jones! Soldier: HELLO, MISS PAUL-- Pauling: QUIET, PRISONER! [TONK, Miss Pauling whacks soldier on the head with her police baton.] Pauling: Ma'am, I'm going to need you to check Tom Jones's pulse. Um. Make sure you really get your fingers all over his neck. [Miss Pauling points to the body as she pushes Soldier towards the door.] Merasmus: At ONCE Officer! Pauling: And you! You're going to get the chair, scum! Keep moving, keep moving... Soldier: Bye Merasmus! [Miss Pauling and Soldier get into a car as Miss Pauling pulls her fake moustache off.] Soldier: Officer Miss Pauling, what I am about to say will shock you: I WAS FRAMED. Pauling: You're not going to jail, Soldier. I'm getting the team back together. [Miss Pauling holds her police hat in her mouth as she takes her police jacket off.] Pauling: Actually, you're the first one I've tracked down. You haven't heard from any of the others, have you? [Soldier puts his hand on his chin.] Soldier: I've seen scout. He helped me move out of my castle into a box. Then I accidentally broke both his arms. So if the last time I saw him is any indication, he's probably at the crying hospital with mascara running down his stupid fa-- Pauling: *sigh* right. Well, before we go to the crying hospital, I've got a couple leads we should check out. Have you ever heard of frontier engineering? |
| Page 44-52: Pyro's Office |
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| [Cuts to an outside shot of 'Frontier Engineering' office building.]
Businesswoman: Congratulations, everyone! [Panel cuts to an office building and group businesspeople sitting at a conference table with the boss on the end seat with a newspaper covering their face.] Businesswoman: We've just had our best quarter ever. Ladies and gentlemen, we're all millionaires! [All the businesspeople applauded 'CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP' and cheer on, "Here, here!," "I say".] Businesswoman: And of course, it's all due to the inspiring leadership of our new CEO. Would you like to say a few words, Sir? [The newspaper shows the headline "TOM JONES MURDERED: Hysterical witch-woman held for questioning" with an image of Merasmus in cuffs.] [Suddenly we see from the boss's perspective as they see the world and the businesspeople as gray and abstract with their words muddled and incoherent.] Businesswoman: Wubbue lyptoe saydah foobirds, Sirp? Sirp? Boss: *sigh* Businesswoman: Arboo fleebingo kay? [Suddenly, in the middle of the boss's vision they see a multicolored light appear from the building across. The color and lights grow bigger and more colorful with streams of color flowing upward and out.] Businesswoman: Oh my god... [The boss is revealed to be Pyro, who is now up against the glass staring out to the other building.] [The streams of colorful rainbows grows larger with flowers, candy and hearts spewing out of the rainbows and a flying unicorn and a large butterfly on either side of it.] Unicorn: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Butterfly: Wheeeee! [The pyrovision cuts off as it is revealed to us that the rainbow is actually a fire caused by Soldier and Miss Pauling.] 'Soldier: Hello, Pyro! Pauling: I think he sees us! Pyro! FIRES! remember fires? [Pyro runs out the office.] |
| Page 52-54: Hale's Vault |
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| Gray Mann: This is it, Olivia...
[Gray Mann and Olivia are at Saxton Hale's large vault.] Gray Mann: Hale's maze of shell companies ends here... At Mann Co.'s REAL prize. Australium. TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS of it. ['KRNNNK Gray Mann starts turning the vault's wheel] Gray Mann: Gathering DUST while that muscle-headed oaf bartered for headwear. And now it's MINE. [Gray Mann opens the vault, a glowing gold shining on him, then immediately the vault is shown to be empty except for one small bar of Australium.] Gray Mann: No. NO! How could it all be gone? Nobody even KNEW of this except that idiot Hale! Unless... [Gray Mann picks up a crooked burnt up cigarette off the ground.] Gray Mann: HER. |
| Page 54-62: Demo's House |
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| Judge: Guilty as charged! TONY HATS, THIS COURT FINDS YOU GUILTY!
Tony Hats: MAMA MIA! But who's-a gonna do alla my CRIMES? John Phantom: Don't worry, Tony. You'll have PLENTY of time to commit crimes... ...In prison. Tony Hats: Why-a, you... Officer Todd: Good work, Sir. John Phantom: Not good enough, Todd. *SIGH* some day... Judge: You're the BEST, John Phantom. The mayor wants you to D.A. ALL the crimes FROM NOW ON. John Phantom: Thank you, your Honor. But I'm afraid THE DEFENSE RESTS. ...In peace. ['DOOLY-DOOLY-DOOT' 'CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP'] Tv: Stay tuned for more Ghosts D.A.! [Scene reveals to be a television show that Demoman and his sentient haunted sword Eyelander are watching. The room is a mess with junk food and beer bottles everywhere.] Eyelander: Ugh. "THE DEFENSE RESTS?" He's the @$%ing prosecution! Ghosts D.A.! "District Attorney!" It's in the title of the @$%ing show! ['KNOCK KNOCK' comes from the front door.] Demoman: If Ghost D.A. Was a DEMOLITIONS EXPERT, they'd have already replaced him with a bloody robot. ['Demoman says drunkenly. ] Eyelander: And what's with that "Dooly Dooly Doot" noise? I'm a ghost word! Have I ever made a @$%ing NOISE when I disappear? I swear, sometimes I think this show isn't even WRITTEN by ghosts. ['KNOCK KNOCK' the door continues to be knocked.] Demoman: ...I'd like to see a bloody ROBOT defend a bloody cap point for... Eyelander: It's been six months man. Let it go. ['KNOCK KNOCK'] Eyelander: Do you still hear a gavel banging? ['TOCK' suddenly, Demoman's mother Mrs. DeGroot, whacks Demo on the back of the head with her cane.] Mrs. DeGroot: TAVISH! Someone's been knockin' at the door for ten minutes! Demoman: Ach! M'busy. Mrs. DeGroot: Busy sittin' on yer baig pilla o' a backside, maybe! Tavish Finnegan DeGroot, go get that door! [Demoman walks to the door in a dishevelled state.] Mrs. DeGroot: It might be a JOB, Tavish. An' laird knows yae could use one. Demoman: I dunnae WANT another job, Mum. Mrs. DeGroot: And I dunnae care what you WANT, lad. you and yair lazy goost-sword ... Eyelander: Hey! I'm dead, lady! Not deaf! Mrs. DeGroot: ...NEED tae get oot this hoose and blow somethin' up for money, or I'll have tae bury ye in a big round box! [Demoman opens the door.] Demoman: What do ye-- --Oh. Hullo, Miss Pauling. [Miss Pauling, taken back about Demo's drunken messy appearance while Soldier waves happily.] Soldier: Hello, fat Demoman! Pauling: Demo? Um. What-- Hello. What happened? Demoman: Och, wael... Have ye heard about the beer of the month club? Well, I joined the beer all at once club. Mrs. DeGroot: Who is it? Ask 'em have they got any jobs! Eyelander: Ask if they've got churros! Demoman: Look, I'm busy. What d'yae want? Pauling: Um. Well. How would YOU like a job? [Demo a bit taken back, smiles and sounds more sober.] Demoman: Are... are yae... are yae givin' me me oul' job back? Pauling: This was in my mailbox this morning. [Miss Pauling holds up a note reading "Assemble the team."] Pauling: Demo-- she's BACK. Demoman: So ye've found her then? Pauling: Um. No. Demoman: But... ye know what the job is. Pauling: Not a clue. You in? Demoman: EYELANDER! Yar roosty wee booster knife! Put yer sheath on! WE'VE GOT A JOB!' Mrs. DeGroot: Me boy! [Demo cheerfully shouts and runs out the door properly dressed and shaven.] |
| Page 63-64: Life Extending Machine |
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| [Panel shows, Gray Mann and his Life Extending Machine which is attached to his back.]
Medicbot: AUSTRALIUM CORE 19.5% DEPLETED. MEDICBOT'S DIAGNOSIS: RECHARGE IMMEDIATELY. *BEEP* Gray: mm. RECHARGE my Australium-fuelled life Extension Machine. With AUSTRALIUM. Why didn't I think of that. Dismissed. [Gray Mann turns to a mysterious figure hidden in the shadows] Gray: Tell me YOU'VE got good news. Mysterious Person: Hh. You're kidding. Her assistant's disappeared. We searched the Australium sites. Her office. Nothing. It's a cold trail, Mann. If you'd called us six months ago... Gray: I've called you NOW. And I'm paying you a FORTUNE. FIND HER AND GET IT BACK. She'll put up a FIGHT, you KNOW. This pet thugs of hers... Mysterious Person: Hh. THEM? [His smile peers out of his dark shadowy presence.] Mysterious Man: Don't worry about them. You've got US now. |
| Page 65-68: Car Trip |
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| Car Trip 65-68
[Panel cuts back to the group driving in a car. Miss Pauling is behind the wheel, Demo in the front seat and Pyro and Soldier sitting in the back.] Pauling: So. It's a twelve hour flight to Siberia. Demo: Aye. We grab Heavy... Pauling: ...Then fly to Australia... Demo: Pick up Sniper... Pauling: ...And home again. Four days tops. That still leaves- Soldier: Miss Pauling! Pyro is on my side of the car again! Pauling: Pyro, don't go on Soldier's side. That still leaves Engie, Medic, Spy and Scout. Demo: Huh. Medic? I'd forget about HIM. He's got hisself a FANCY job now. Pauling: We'll convince him. I'm more worried about the engineer. It's like he dropped off the face of the- [Soldier shoves a bleeding severed hand in front of Miss Pauling's face; Miss Pauling is unfazed by it.] Soldier: Miss Pauling! Pyro cut off my hand. Pauling: Pyro, don't cut off Soldier's hands. [Title card: "Two Minutes Later." They park at an animal hospital to reattach Soldier's hand. Soldier gleefully handshakes the distraught veterinarian covered in blood with his hand now reattached. Pyro is playing with a Dalmatian as Demoman and Miss Pauling talk.] Pauling: Scout'll turn up on his own. But spy... he could be anywhere, disguised as ANYTHING. Demo: Ach, well... let's worry about that backstabber when we need tae. As it stands we've got a plane tae catch, an'... Pauling: Um. I think we're going to have to miss the flight. [Miss Pauling picks up a newspaper.] Demo: Bloody HELL... [Newspaper reads "MERC SCUM TO HANG" with Spy and Scout's mugshots. "Captured Members of "The Teufort Nine" to Pay For Legacy of Destruction to Fair City". To be Continued...] |
Pages
Notes
- The colors of several characters' ties inexplicably change between panels - Gray Mann's tie changes from gray to blue after he burns his hands on page 15, and it is black on page 24. The same occurs with Mr. Bidwell and Mr. Reddy's ties, both changing from blue to black on page 23.
- Cover
- On the title page, the Hat-Wearing MAN magazine can be seen.
- Page 10
- Unlike most of the photos that show Saxton Hale fighting some animal, a photo is seen that shows Saxton in a celebrity handshake pose with a tie-wearing bear. A similar tie-wearing bear also appears in similar celebrity handshake photo in Tom Jones’ home on page 38.
- Pages 38-39
- Soldier is missing the vertical flap down the middle of his coat.
- Page 45
- It is revealed that fire itself causes Pyro's vision of the world. Without it, Pyro sees everything as dull and grey, but still cartoonish.
- The back page of Pyro's newspaper is the second page of the advertisement for Lecture Valley.
- Page 57
- Demoman's Eyelander is shown to be fully sentient and capable of speech; it was previously shown to be simply haunted and only whisper "heads".
- Page 59
- Demoman is wearing a Badlands Brawlers T-shirt, the same team name that appeared in the WAR! Comic.
- Page 61
- The statue fountain in the Demoman's front yard is still spouting water from the neck from when he decapitated it with the Eyelander in the WAR! Comic.
Trivia
- Cover
- The title is a reference to the 1963 Johnny Cash song, Ring of Fire.
- The cover references the famous panel in the comic "Spider-Man No More!".
- Page 8
- " ... crying over some dead opera lovers." references the origin of Batman, where Batman's alias, Bruce Wayne, witnesses his parents' murder in a back alley after an opera.
- Pages 30 to 39 Soldier's Homes of Celebrities Tour
- British English: Certain celebrities mentioned in the tour (Dick Van Dyke, The Beatles, and Tom Jones) are either "British" or famous for portraying characters with various British accents. (The Gabor sisters were favored for their Continental accents.)
- 392 American soldiers died "defending Fort Stanwix from the British" in upper New York State. Stanwix is a common mispronounciation of the famous star's name Stanwyck, and vice versa.[1]
- The Beatles "disappeared" in 1970, shortly before the timeframe of this Comic. See newspaper on page 45 ("Last seen near Pond").
- Page 66
- The puppy Pyro is holding is a Dalmatian, commonly known as a "firehouse dog" due to the breed historically being used for various purposes by firefighters.
See also
- Preceded in the Storyline by:
- Senate hearings (The Poopy Joe Files, page 834) (The Administrator, with Miss Pauling, explains her objectives to the committee [redacted])
- Doom-Mates (Merasmus' eviction from his home)
- Blood Brothers (Full introduction of Gray Mann)
- A Fate Worse Than Chess (Commencement of the Robot War a year earlier; Hale captures the Yeti)
- Shadow Boxers (Gray Mann's Australian Island base)
- Followed by:
- Unhappy Returns (Continuing main Storyline series)
- Grave Matters (Merasmus imprisoned for the murder of Tom Jones)
External links
- Ring of Fired on the TF2 Official Website.
References
- ↑ Jon Schmitz, Stanwix versus Stanwyck, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, AUG 1, 2013.