User:GrampaSwood/AprilFools2023

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April Fools 2023 ideas (patch notes, pages, videos, etc.)

Guidelines

Everything should settled on and ready by March 31. Take all the time you need until then to discuss, organize, and put together everything you'd like to show up in the fake update.

Please try to avoid the following:

New weapons or balance changes that are based on actual problems with TF2
Bug fixes or game changes that address actual TF2 problems
Anything regarding matchmaking or promised features

Try to make something that is very obviously a joke update, it's better to go over the top than to be subtle. It's okay to make fun of other Valve games, as long as it's done in jest rather than out of malice.

Accepted ideas

Main article: User:GrampaSwood/AprilFools2023/Patch

Proposed ideas

Pictogram comment.png Once an idea gets 5 or more Pictogram plus.png  votes with little to no Pictogram minus.png  votes, it is accepted for the patch notes (with some additional edits if necessary)

Yossef's ideas

These are my ideas so far, might add more in the future.

April 1st, 2023 Patch Notes:

  • Introducing Season Pass:
    • New unlockable skins for your mercenaries, including brand new and definitely never-seen-before female models! Pictogram plus.png 5 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Restored unused Heavy voice line (or if its too NSFW, then use this instead). Pictogram plus.png 1 | Pictogram minus.png 0

YossefTalk 14:13, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

Pictogram plus.png Support I like the season pass idea, we've done similar things in the past and I'd like to see more feature ideas added to it. In combination with BrazilianNut's idea of referencing the Search for the Sandvich, the season pass should give access to an all-new singleplayer questline to search for the Sandvich. As for the unused voice line, it's a bit too NSFW for the Wiki but I like the alternative one.
GrampaSwood (talk) 14:49, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

BrazilianNut's ideas

  • Removed class restrictions from cosmetics Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Updated the Demoman's model to fix missing left eye Pictogram plus.png 3 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • [Undocumented] Removed MONOCULUS from the game
  • Fixed The Stout Shako not being priced at 2 Refined Metal Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Added mind-meld ability to the Medic Pictogram plus.png 4 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • Allows the Medic to communicate telepathically with his teammates

BrazilianNut (talk) 14:28, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

Pictogram plus.png Support Great ideas, I like the reference to Search for the Sandvich.
GrampaSwood (talk) 14:49, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

GrampaSwood's ideas

  • Added new Wiki features:
    • Wiki BLU: Adds a checkmark next to the user's name for only 5 refined a month! Gone are the days of the Manne of Hats and Smelly Unfortunates. (A play on the new Twitter Blue feature, as well as the Tweet from Musk about the lords and peasant system) Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • Wiki Australium: Gift a user Wiki Australium for 10 refined. Users with Wiki Australiums can bypass edit protections, are allowed to vandalise up to 1 page per month, and get to display a cool badge on their profile. (A play on Reddit's Gold feature) Pictogram plus.png 1 | Pictogram minus.png 0

Patch notes:

  • Renamed the "Persian Persuader" to "Iranian Persuader" to enforce the 1935 request of the Iranian government. Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • "Coal Pit" and "Coal Town" have been renamed to "Solar Pit" and "Windmill Town" in accordance with the 2015 Paris Climate Accords. Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 0

GrampaSwood (talk) 14:30, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

These are fun, but I think they'd have to be in a different place than a patch page. We'd need to do some neat CSS for it, like when we had that Windows 95 skin. Plus, I think those prices are too small - a key is like, 70 ref now, and they're a pretty decent monetary baseline. If Twitter can charge eight dollars for a checkmark, I think we can gouge a bit more than a few cents for ours. — User ThatHatGuy Signature Icon.png User ThatHatGuy Signature Talk.png User ThatHatGuy Signature Contribs.png 14:33, 29 January 2023 (UTC)
That is true, although I wanted to avoid using keys due to the Wiki's policy on community-attributed value. I think the price for these can definitely go up, however, they're just placeholder for now.
GrampaSwood (talk) 14:46, 29 January 2023 (UTC)
I like these ideas, but I just think they should be about the game, not the wiki. - BrazilianNut (talk) 14:51, 29 January 2023 (UTC)
We could implement these ideas similarly to how we've done them in the past, with a box in the corner advertising it and with its own page explaining the benefits.
GrampaSwood (talk) 14:59, 29 January 2023 (UTC)

Andrew360's ideas

  • Added Crasher to Competitive Mode Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Removed a polygon from Pryo's finger Pictogram plus.png 5 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Smelting class weapons can now produce a Golden Frying Pan Pictogram plus.png 3 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Fixed a server crash relating to the Observer Pictogram plus.png 5 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Players with a level 100 Operation Two Cities Badge can no longer use text chat Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 2


Andrew360 Edit icon.png Taunt Rancho Relaxo.png 21:40, 27 January 2023 (UTC)

I like all of these, although the last one may be a bit controversial considering that the no inspecting on non-party-members change was poorly received.
GrampaSwood (talk) 21:08, 28 January 2023 (UTC)

ShadowMan's ideas

  • Flamethrower Airblast now works on bullets Pictogram plus.png 5 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Players hit in the crotch with the Sandman ball are now marked for death Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Added new class: TFC Medic (known as Combat Medic in the class selection menu) Pictogram plus.png 1 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • All all-class cosmetics now have a TFC Medic variant
  • Added Medic domination voice lines Pictogram plus.png 3 | Pictogram minus.png 1
  • Added Badlands (Capture the Flag) into casual Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 4
  • Added Australium Sun on a Stick Pictogram plus.png 3 | Pictogram minus.png 1
  • Added BLU team texture variant to the Disguise Kit Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 4

ShadowMan44 (talk) 04:47, 28 January 2023 (UTC)

I like them, although I think the TFC Medic one could be changed to Battle Medic rather than just adding TFC Medic. The patch notes for the Disguise Kit may just be too much of a thing people would actually like.
GrampaSwood (talk) 21:08, 28 January 2023 (UTC)

ThatHatGuy's ideas

  • New special taunt: Corolla Corral, a Victory Lap style 2008 Toyota Corolla, that teammates can get inside for group transport Pictogram plus.png 3 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Updated the Deflector Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • Can now shoot weapons out of players' hands, knocking them away
      • Dropped weapons can be picked up from the ground by any player
    • Can shoot dropped weapons on the floor to send them flying into the skybox
  • Deflector Heavies now have 600% Knockback Rage, and spawn with full meter Pictogram plus.png 1 | Pictogram minus.png 1
  • Added Moustachium weapons, craftable with Moustachium Bars Pictogram plus.png 4 | Pictogram minus.png 0
    • Visually identical to regular versions of the weapons, but while equipped, the classes sport a gigantic moustache
    • Added several crafting recipes to fabricate Moustachium weapons

Pictogram comment.png Due to an error with the recipes, each weapon requires 66 Moustachium Bars, rather than the intended 6, rendering them unable to be crafted.
User ThatHatGuy Signature Icon.png User ThatHatGuy Signature Talk.png User ThatHatGuy Signature Contribs.png 04:37, 29 January 2023 (UTC)

BEUFK's awful ideas

  • Supporting Pyro voice lines for all classes. Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0
  • Mann vs. Machine mode updated: Pictogram plus.png 0 | Pictogram minus.png 3
    • implemented Training mode for mvm. (which allows the players to get a temporary Austrailium weapon)
    • New robots:
Icon Name Primary Secondary Melee Attributes
Medic
Epic Battle Medic Minigun
Minigun
Quick-Fix
Quick-Fix
Bonesaw
Bonesaw
Pictogram plus.png Minigun damage +100%
Pictogram minus.png No, they don't have Übercharge
Pictogram plus.png Quick-Fix deals 100 more damage points
Pictogram minus.png Quick-Fix can also kill his teammates.
Pictogram plus.png Move +112% faster
Pictogram info.png Despite under the name of Medic, they don't heal others and attempt to kill more mercenaries by their hands.

Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0

Icon Name Secondary Melee Attributes
Heavy
Friendly Heavy Sandvich
Sandvich
Conscientious Objector
Conscientious Objector
Pictogram minus.png No primary weapons are allowed.
Pictogram plus.png The players who attack him will be kicked automatically
Pictogram plus.png 114514 HP
Pictogram plus.png Pretending being friendly to let his best friend kill the credulous idiots.

Pictogram plus.png 2 | Pictogram minus.png 0

Undocumented changes
  • Removed Tom Jones from the game files. Pictogram plus.png 4 | Pictogram minus.png 0

Pictogram info.png FYI: That's what I could suggest now. Maybe I should ask my colleagues after a while? --Tf medic setup charge.png X BEUFK-Contributions-Talk 06:27, 29 January 2023 (UTC)

I'm a bit confused as to what the first Pyro voice lines one means.
GrampaSwood (talk) 13:26, 29 January 2023 (UTC)
Originally It is "Multi-language voice lines" support. But I thought It may defy the guideline? --Tf medic setup charge.png X BEUFK-Contributions-Talk 13:32, 29 January 2023 (UTC)
Ah, that's fine. I think that's actually a pretty funny.
GrampaSwood (talk) 13:35, 29 January 2023 (UTC)

Denied's ideas

  • Added Experimental Weapons Program (currently in beta). Test news weapons before they become officially added to the game. Remember that their attributes might change at any time based on community feedback.
    • You can check out our first weapon here.
  • Fixed a critical bug where the community calls the game dead.
  • Players can not longer see other players, their upgrades, and their collected money in Mann vs Machine.
  • Adjusted health packs to damage players that pick them up while above 50% health.
  • All-talk is now on by default.
  • Mann Co. Store expands its service with new additions. Now products shuffle everyday. Check out the store everyday for new extra hot deals.
  • Added TFCoins. Exchange TFCoins for in-game rewards. TFCoins can be earned by simply playing on official servers or by purchasing them in the store.
  • Open slots in Casual games will be now filled in with bots until real players connect to the server.

User Denied signature.jpg Denied (Talk) 22:19, 29 January 2023 (UTC)

ManyaKadir's ideas

  • Added C4 explosive to RED team and defuse kit to BLU team for new mode Bomb Defusal.
  • Soldier is finally accepted into the U.S. military and removed from the game.
  • Wiki Cap added to item drop system.
  • Added auction system to be held every week. The highest bidder gets the item selected by Valve Corporation.
  • All cosmetic items can now be coated with australium metal element.
  • Fixed the intelligence briefcase disappearing from the server when dropped into pit-like spaces
  • Archimedes bird added to the game.
    • If Archimedes pisses on player's head, this gives immortality to player for 10 seconds (superstition).

ManyaKadir (talk) 22:23, 29 January 2023 (UTC)