可视化历史
| 可视化历史 | |
|---|---|
| 漫画信息 | |
| 发布日期: | 2010年6月10日 |
| 页数: | 4 |
| 艺术家: | Michael Oeming |
| “ | 我喜欢这把枪。
— 机枪手如此评价苹果公司最新推出的“自动博客更新”产品
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” |
《可视化历史(A Visual History)》是于2010年6月10日随Mac 更新发布的一部漫画。这篇漫画讲述红方的侦察兵、士兵与机枪手在一家“苹果商店”取得了意想不到的收获。
该漫画属于外传(英语)作品[1],它将仍生活在大型计算机时代的角色们带到了拥有流线型iMac与蛋型单键鼠标(英语)的未来,其讲述的内容并不属于《军团要塞2》的背景或故事。
故事梗概
在本篇漫画中,红队的侦察兵,士兵与机枪手三人从 Dustbowl 中一篇燃烧的建筑废墟中走来,由于配备的曼恩公司产品出了故障,他们刚刚输掉了一场战斗。在对他们的装备抱怨了一番并声称如果没有解决方案就离死不远后,他们发现了一家Apple Store并走了进去。三人在商店内见到了特伦特和杰西卡。侦察兵试图用他在战斗中的英勇表现和一塌糊涂的“搔首弄尾”来勾引杰西卡女士,而他没能如愿。两位职员也向佣兵们推荐了他们的高质量多功能产品,例如给侦察兵的一款全新头戴耳机,给机枪手的一款“发射生物降解子弹并自动更新杀敌博客并且经过编程能够给没博客的用户自动创建一个”的转轮机枪,以及一只在接入火线接口后能够自动煮熟的猪,而士兵对这只猪的兴趣甚至大于他对自己的“爆燃铁锹”的喜爱。但没过多久,萨克斯顿·霍尔突然闯入商店,声称他那并不安全且为真男人设计的设备比“苹果”旗下任何的“小白蛋”设备都要好。然而,在按下了一个无线鼠标上的按钮后,他意识到了这些产品的优秀之处。他决定买下这家公司,但被身份不明的商店经理果断拒绝了。霍尔立马认出了这个人,声称商店里满是他的“骚臭味”,并准备好大打出手,而这一切或许将在漫画结尾标明的续作:《巨头交锋之时!》中揭晓。
文稿
| A Visual History |
|---|
| [The comic opens the day prior at Dustbowl, with the RED Heavy, Soldier and Scout walking away from a burning battlefield injured, the Scout bleeding from his ear]
Heavy: I cannot believe our guns break in middle of battle. Again. Soldier: In America, comrade, we do not blame the tool. We blame the man. Scout: I blame a Mann alright. Mann Co. This stuff is junk! Seriously, look at this! My earpiece melted inside my skull here! That's like three times now! Soldier: Ladies, clearly I cannot talk to you as I would men. So I will sugarcoat this with your fancy college talk. Either we find a just-in-time solution to resynergize our paradigm, or we will be thinking inside the box. Six feet under the ground. [A bright, white-blue light emits from over the hill] Scout: Holy crap! Hey fellas, look at this! [They stand atop the hill, looking down at a futuristic, grey and white building. Atop the building is a large, obscured sign resembling an apple] Soldier: Was... was that there yesterday? Heavy: Is so... white. Scout: It looks like some kinda hospital for fruit! [The scene cuts to inside the building, where two employees reside; a man wearing a hat, and a woman. Some computers and displays can be seen on desks] Trent: Hey there, guys! My name's Trent! This is Jessica! Jessica: Hi you guys! Let us know if you need anything, okay? [The mercs stand together speechless and bewildered, when suddenly...] Scout: GIRL! I got this one, guys. Jessica: Hi! Can I- Scout: Guess who was just in a battle? Don't bother guessin', 'cause it was me! See this blood? I got no idea whose it is! Not mine, anyway! Yeah-ha! Well, most of it. The blood comin' out of my head's mine. You got any wireless headsets you could show me? Jessica: We, uh... have one right there! Scout: Ah. You mean this one... here? [Scout points to the side and 'flexes', with the text 'FLEX' for emphasis, visibly straining himself. An image of some tickets covers his arm, reading 'ADMIT ONE GUN SHOW'] Jessica: I... don't know what's happening right now. Are you flexing? Scout: What? NNGH! No. (Must... flex... harder.) [Scout visibly sweats, with the text 'PAINFUL FLEX' for emphasis. He is revealed to be pointing at a wireless headset] Scout: I was just... rrg! Casually pointing at this headset. This is my... rngf! Natural pointing stance. Jessica: Oh. Okay. Anyway, that's it there. You found it. Scout: Yeah I did. (Heh. Ol' flexy. Never fails.) [Meanwhile, Trent is showing Heavy a futuristic-looking version of the Minigun] Trent: ...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post. Heavy: Bullet will update blog with kill count? Trent: In real time, sir! Heavy: I do not have blog. Trent: The bullets are programmed to set one up for you! Heavy: I like this gun. [Suddenly, the Soldier holds up a shovel, angrily] Soldier: Judases! I have used this Mann Co. shovel for twelve years! It does not blog! It does not biodegrade! It barely digs holes! But it is mine and aggggh it is on fire! [The shovel abruptly bursts into flames. Trent quickly comes in with a small fire extinguisher to put it out] Trent: Uh oh! Let me take care of that for you, sir! Soldier: Bah! This shovel bursts into flame(sic) so often my hand is a fireproof mass of scar tissue! You hippies have nothing that I need! [The now-extinguished Soldier looks over at Jessica, who has a laptop connected to a pig with an apple in its mouth] Jessica: You'll like this, sir. Soldier: I will not! Keep pushing me, sister, and I will plant my carbon footprint so far up your is that a pig? Jessica: Yep! You just plug it into the FireWire port. Soldier: Is that pig cooking? Jessica: Already cooked! Who wants bacon, ribs, pork chops and ham? Soldier: Yes, yes, I do, and yes. Voice: STOP... [Suddenly, Saxton Hale bursts through the window, with the text 'PROPERTY DAMAGE' for emphasis] Saxton Hale: ...RIGHT THERE! The name's Saxton Hale! Australian! CEO of Mann Co! And the man who's gonna burn this place to the ground! I make square, unsafe products for men! Not white little egg things with no sharp edges and only one button! Look at this tiny thing! It's not on fire! How do you even know it's on? [He picks up and pushes a button on a small, grey device, with the text 'BRAVE PRESS!' for emphasis. In the following panel, a TV screen in the background reads the news] Saxton Hale: Ha! Mysterious button, you just got pressed by Saxton Hale! News Reporter: This just in! Someone has blown up the moon! [The screen changes to an image of an exploded moon, with the text 'UP NEXT... The Moon: Taken Too Soon', while music plays] Music: ♪...hope you had the ti-ii-me, of your life...♬ Saxton Hale: Enh? [Jessica stands infront of Saxton Hale] Jessica: That's our newest product. The iBlewUpTheMoon. Saxton Hale: Are you saying... I just...? Jessica: Yep! Saxton Hale: Well, that is fantastic. [The angle shifts to a close-up of Saxton Hale's face. The text 'A BOLD NEW PLAN!' appears above him] Saxton Hale: Let me see your manager. Because I am buying your company. [Suddenly, the store manager appears, pulling up their sleeve, as Saxton Hale points at them] Store manager: No sale, Hale! Saxton Hale: You! I should have known! This place has your curvy stink all over it! NEXT ISSUE! WHEN TITANS CLASH! |
漫画页面(中文汉化)
漫画页面(英文原版)
细枝末节
- 在Valve游戏的故事精装本:《Valve出品:<牺牲>与其它Steam游戏故事》中,本篇漫画的名称被修改为“Mac”。
- 第 1 页
- “昨天”:即该漫画发布的前一天:2010年6月9日,同时也是曼恩公司于 Mac OS X 平台上线的日子。
- 第 1 框:这部漫画暗喻了Mac(英语)与PC(英语)之间激烈的商业竞争——似乎稍逊一筹的曼恩公司产品在某些方面的特征上代表着微软公司的 Windows 操作系统及其应用程序,如知名的崩溃问题与安全问题。(而士兵在这里充满爱国情怀地表示应该怪罪的是“人”(英语)——也就是用户。)
- 第 3 框:事实上与其说是“粉饰辞藻”,士兵更像是用一堆商业行话(英语)把问题糊弄了过去:“我们必须及时策划出一个具备高度时效性的方案,以对我们行动范式的协同效应进行再优化,否则就只能躺在棺材里琢磨这一切了。”
- “具备高度时效性的方案”译自“just-in-time solution”,而“just-in-time”一般指的是“准时制生产”或“精益生产”,即在需要的时间按照需要的数量及时生产需要的产品的一种生产模式。
- “对…协同效应进行再优化”译自“resynergise”,而“Synergy”一词指“协同效应”,即不同的个体通过相互协作,使得产生的最终效果大于个体之和。
- “范式”译自“paradigm”,即在某些活动中被公认的一般性范例。
- “躺在棺材里琢磨这一切”译自“thinking inside the box”,这句话是从“thinking outside the box(英语)”修改而来的。后者的字面意思为“跳出盒子思考”,喻指突破思维的限制。而在士兵口中,这里的“Box”指的是棺材。
- 第 4 框:侦察兵说那个商店“像是什么水果医院”是因为苹果公司的图标便是个水果(该图标于漫画中商店的上方出现了一半),加之它们的商店装修就如医院一般。[2]
- 第 2 页
- 第 1 框:漫画中展示的产品同发布时间较近的“MacBook”与“unibody iMac(英语)”有一定相似之处。
- 第 3 页
- 第 5 框:“…我都使了十二年了!”本篇漫画发布时,现实世界中的Windows 98已经有了12年的历史,且仍有人在坚持使用。
- 从外形上看,此处士兵挥舞的铁锹是不可折叠的,这游戏中所有的铁锹都并非如此。
- 第 6 框:“它着火了!”中的“Catch Fire”(英语)是计算机领域当中一个有些老旧的习语,指由于硬件或软件的设计缺陷而导致的计算机故障。
- 第 4 页
- “FireWire”是苹果公司专有的一项互连技术,但这项技术很快就被USB取代了。
- 第 7 框:萨克斯顿·霍尔身后的电视所播放的歌词“...Hope you had the ti-ii-ime of your life...”出自“Green Day”乐队的音乐作品《Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)(英语)》。
- 最后框:苹果公司的联合创始人、董事长兼首席执行官史蒂夫·乔布斯几乎将黑色的长袖毛衣作为他的日常服饰,同时他也经常将袖子撸起来。
另见
外部链接
参考内容
- ↑ TF2官网的一则博客,表明此漫画系外传作品
- ↑ Tom Keating,TCMnet 博客,《Microsoft Store in Danbury Fair Mall Is No Apple Store》。相关段落:“苹果商店有一种“低温无菌室”的氛围,如同医院一般。”2012年7月9日。
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