厄运之友
厄运之友 | |
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漫画信息 | |
发布日期: | 2012年10月24日 |
页数: | 19 |
艺术家: | Heather "makani" Campbell Jim Murray(封面) |
“ | 够了!你以为你可以把马拉莫斯当成什么垃圾魔术师来欺负吗?
— 马拉莫斯
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《厄运之友(Doom-Mates)》是于2011年10月27日随幽灵万圣节特约(第四年度万圣节活动)发布的一部漫画。该漫画讲述了马拉莫斯和士兵之间的又一段怨念故事,终于忍无可忍的马拉莫斯最后大开杀戒。
故事梗概
故事开始时,马拉莫斯刚刚从他的“第一千一百五十六届巫师展会”(WizardCon MCLVI)之旅归来,乘出租车回到家中,尽管他尝试用魔法来让司机降价,但并没能如愿。而下车后的马拉莫斯发现他的城堡被红队的士兵糟蹋了个底朝天,院子里到处都是浣熊,且他的冰箱还被士兵埋了。马拉莫斯正与士兵对峙时,一名城市官员来到现场,告知马拉莫斯他的城堡已成为荒芜之地所有浣熊的栖息地,并打算将其纳为公用,修建浣熊保护区。马拉莫斯被要求和“园区管理员”商讨,而这人正是士兵。在士兵嘲讽了马拉莫斯后,忍无可忍的马拉莫斯化身为幽灵形态,并准备杀掉士兵。而士兵说他非但不会死,还会变得更强而逆袭归来,因为他在一年前偷吃了马拉莫斯的“续命逆袭药丸”(Kill Me Come Back Stronger Pills)。无法杀掉士兵的马拉莫斯决定干掉士兵关心的所有人以求报复。
画面随后跳转到了士兵将一切讲述给红队的侦察兵和间谍听的情形,他如此解释了马拉莫斯向红队大开杀戒的原因。
文稿
Doom-Mates |
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[The first page is a cover image, depicting Merasmus on the floor, vomiting a ghastly fog that takes the form of himself and many fish with glowing eyes. The RED Soldier points up at this fog whilst his arm is being attacked by multiple raccoons. A Mann Co. sticker is shown reading 'MANN CO. SUPERNATURAL COMBAT FICTION' is displayed, alongside a second sticker indicating the comic is #4 in the series, released in October at a price of 12¢. A third sticker, reading 'APPROVED by the MANN CO. DREAD COUNCIL to be 100% TERRIFYING!' is also displayed]
SCREAM FORTRESS PRESENTS I FIGHT YOUR FAVORITE FRIGHT-FIGHTING, [The comic opens to a taxi cab, with Merasmus in the passenger seat] Driver: That'll be sixteen fiddy, pal. Merasmus: Oh will it? Will it really? I am inside your mind! BRAZBO BARRABUS! The fare is now TEN DOLLARS, and no more! Driver: If you want, I could drive you back to the airport and kick your ass there. Merasmus: Oh, very well. [Merasmus takes out his wallet to pay the driver, then exits with a bag reading 'WIZARDCON MCLVI' filled with scrolls and potions. He is greeted outside of his castle by the RED Soldier, alongside several raccoons. A refrigerator — of which is taped shut and has multiple 'SKRITCH' sounds being emitted from it — is partially buried in the ground with a shovel next to it, as well as a washing machine nearby with fire spewing from it] Soldier: WELCOME BACK, MERASMUS! Merasmus: Soldier! What— why— I've only been gone three days! What did you do to my castle? Why are there— are you burying the regfrigerator in the yard? Soldier: Technically I'm burying what's in the refrigerator. Also: do not open the refrigerator. Merasmus: You— you don't even live here anymore! Soldier: Ha! Tell me about it! I had to break in! Merasmus: Where did all these raccooons come from? Soldier: They sniffed out all the sour cream I hid! They love the stuff. Don't you, Lieutenant Bites? Yeahhh, you do. [Soldier pets the raccoon — of which is also biting him — whilst Merasmus picks up a glob of sour cream and sniffs it] Soldier: Help yourself, by the way. I hid plenty of it, and it spoils real fast. Merasmus: That's why you put it in the refrigerator! Soldier: I'm not going to dig up a refrigerator every time a raccoon wants some sour cream, Merasmus. 'Merasmus: Oh, for— The Bombinomicon! Your raccoons are EATING the Bombinomicon! [Raccoons are shown eating the Bombinomicon as Merasmus points angrily at it. He saves it from them, when suddenly a woman wearing black glasses appears behind him] Park Warden: Ma'am? Is this your domicile? Merasmus: Enh? Yes yes, what is it?! Park Warden: I'm with the city. I need to talk to you about the raccoons. Merasmus: Oh! Uh... they'll all be destroyed within the hour, I assure you! Park Ranger: I'm afraid not, ma'am. Your domicile is currently housing every raccoon in the Greater Badlands area. We're annexing this castle and making it a raccoon sanctuary. Merasmus: You're asking Merasmus to leave his castle of eldritch horror? Park Ranger: You'd have to take that up with the park ranger, ma'am. Merasmus: "Park Ranger"? Who— oh please God don't let it be— [Soldier appears behind Merasmus as his face warps with anger] Soldier: You hear that, Merasmus? I own your castle of ostrich horror now! Park Warden: You're scared ostriches on the premises? That's a hefty fine, ma'am. Soldier: You hear that, Merasmus? You are being fined and evicted from your castle! Park Warden: I hope she hears that, Ranger Doe. Failure to listen to a park warden is a hefty— [Suddenly, Merasmus' spirit emits from his mouth as a ghastly green fog, his eyes blazing green with rage] Merasmus: ENOUGH! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BULLY MERASMUS LIKE HE'S SOME CHEAP PARLOR MAGICIAN? I WAS BORN BEFORE TIME, DARK LARVAE FROM THE PUTRID WOMB OF THE ANCIENT ONES! I AM THE SCREAM ON THE LIPS OF CHILDREN! I AM THE CURSE BORNE ON THE BREATH OF THE DEAD! LO, I AM THE MOUTH OF THE BEAST, THE WRAITH OF DARKNESS THE UNCLEAN THING! I AM THE... what are you— are you burning my body? [Merasmus glances down to Soldier — of whom is holding a gasoline canister — standing over Merasmus' now burning body] Soldier: Ohhh. Hey, Merasmus. I thought you were dead. Merasmus: I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME! Soldier: You're always talking. I guess I only notice when you stop. Merasmus: I am going to kill you, Soldier! Soldier: You can't! If you kill me now, I'll only come back stronger! Merasmus: What nonsense are you— waaait... [A brief flashback is shown, depicting Soldier and Merasmus in a bathroom wearing casual clothing. Soldier is brushing his teeth, whilst Merasmus is holding up a pill bottle, with multiple other pill bottles on shelves behind him] [ Last year...] Merasmus: Soldier, did you eat my entire bottle of "kill me come back stronger" pills? Soldier: I thought it was your heart medicine." Merasmus: You're taking my heart medication? Soldier: Look, Merasmus, if you're gonna keep asking dumb questions, I'll go use my other bathroom that I made in the kitchen. [Returning to the present, Merasmus' eyes glow green again, now wearing a twisted smile on his face] Merasmus: Very well... if I can't kill you, Soldier... I will kill EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT. Soldier: Ha! I'd like to see you try! [The scene suddenly changes to sometime in the future, as Soldier talks to both the RED Scout and Spy, the latter with his eyes closed making a frustrated gesture. Blood covers the three of them and the windows behind them, as many screams of pain echo around them] Soldier: ...then I told the mighty ghost wizard, "Ha! I'd like to see you try!" And that is why he's killing' all of us right now! Scout: I gotta admit, that does sort of explain everything. SCREAM FORTRESS |
漫画页面(中文汉化)
漫画页面(英文原版)
细枝末节
- 当玩家在官方网站上阅读此漫画,于第一页后退或于最后一页翻页时,将会随机播放一段玩家装备踏步靴从空中落在其他玩家身上的音效。
- 在第 5 页(汉化版第 3 页),马拉莫斯的袋子上印着“WIZARDCON MCLVI”(第一千一百五十六届巫师会展)。
另见
外部链接
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