比下棋还可怕的命运
| 比下棋还可怕的命运 | |
|---|---|
| 漫画信息 | |
| 发布日期: | 2012年8月13日 |
| 页数: | 33 |
| 艺术家: | Heather "makani" Campbell Jim Murray(封面) |
| 作家: | Jay Pinkerton & Erik Wolpaw |
| 调色师: | Nick Filardi |
| “ | 听我的话,比德维尔,这是我发自真心的话。我现在就去揍扁那只@#$%的猴子。
— 萨克斯顿·霍尔
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” |
《比下棋还可怕的命运(A Fate Worse Than Chess)》是于2012年8月13日随曼恩 vs. 机器更新发布的一部漫画。这部漫画是此前发布的作品《骨肉兄弟》的续集,它介绍了格雷·曼恩与他的机器人大军对曼恩公司的入侵。而萨克斯顿·霍尔在为《军团要塞》的佣兵们指示抗击机器人的同时与一只雪人搏斗。
故事梗概
《比下棋还可怕的命运》从两名科学家讨论外星人是如何呼吸地球氧气的画面开始。萨克斯顿·霍尔“闯入”了漫画画面,并介绍他讲述故事的“新方法”:“爆燃叙事®”。而刚才的情境则以“爆燃叙事”进行了重现:这次两名科学家被两个装备有利剑的女战士所替代。其中一个女子要求另一个告诉她外星人是如何呼吸地球氧气的,同时两人在一个火山口上进行战斗。萨克斯顿再次闯入了画面,正式引入他的“爆燃故事”:《比下棋还可怕的命运》。
漫画跳转到不丹王国的桑祝琼卡区(英语),萨克斯顿·霍尔伪装成灵长类动物暴力行为研究专家“Joanbaez 博士”,经请求与许可见到了最后仅存的一只雪人,而同样经过伪装的比德维尔在电话中得知曼恩公司的所有设施正遭到攻击。比德维尔希望他们立刻离开以应对危机,而萨克斯顿则坚持要同雪人搏斗。比德维尔决定在萨克斯顿打雪人的同时为他录制一段影片,以向佣兵们交代接下来同格雷·曼恩的机器人大军的交战。
画面随后又转到宝琳小姐,她正向佣兵们播放这段霍尔的录像,而霍尔在录像中表明,由于曼恩兄弟两人死去,佣兵们都被解雇了。然而,因为机器人大军正袭击曼恩公司的总部,佣兵们又被重新雇佣以对抗机器人。尽管令人失望的是佣兵们不会因此得到报酬,但宝琳小姐指出这些机器人出于某种原因靠钱堆而运作,摧毁机器人获得的这些钱都归佣兵们所有。漫画的最后,宝琳小姐告诉佣兵们这不仅仅是为曼恩公司与萨克斯顿·霍尔的战斗,更是为他们生计的战斗。
文稿
| A Fate Worse Than Chess |
|---|
| [The first page shows a cover image for a comic, depicting a Yeti wearing a necklace made of flowers playing chess with a hippie, while Saxton Hale is in mid-air about to punch the Yeti in the back of the head. A sticker shows the comic is #78 in the series, released in August at a price of 12¢]
MANN CO. SAXTON HALE'S SAXTON INTRODUCES [The comic opens to two scientists in a small and dull room, with a shelf containing various scientific measuring cups, beakers and test tubes] Scientist A: Just beyond these flat gray walls, doctor, we fight our final battle against the alien hordes. And what a battle! But tell me: how do these aliens breathe our Earth oxygen? Scientist B: That's an interesting story. Well, not interesting, exactly. But it is long and complicated. You see, oxygen has the second-highest electronegativity of all reactive elements. Ha, well, besides fluorine, of course, which— [Suddenly, Saxton Hale bursts through the page of the comic, interrupting the comic] Saxton Hale: EXPOSITION! The art of stopping a story so nerds can find out how things work! It's awful. So I came up with a brand new way to tell stories! EXPLOSITION!® Let's see thats same scene again. [The scene has now been dramatically altered, replacing the scientists with two women wielding swords fighting atop an active volcano, as pterodactyls circle them] Graveline: DAMN your heaving bosoms, Synestra! You'll tell me how aliens breathe oxygen, or I'll gut you like one of your pet terror-dactyles! Synestra: It's a fascinating tale, Graveline! What a pity you won't be alive to hear it! But it involves fluorine! [Saxton Hale emerges from behind the page] Saxton Hale: There! I fixed reading! But don't take my word for it! See for yourself, in the explository tale I call... A FATE WORSE THAN CHESS [The scene shifts to a jungle with mountains in the background. Two hippies are stationed behind a log, with Saxton Hale — under the alias 'Doctor Joanbaez' — next to them, alongside Mr. Bidwell nearby with a telephone, both visibly disguised as hippies themselves] [ Samdrup Jongkhar District, Kingdom of Bhutan ] [ Three days after the end of the Gravel Wars. ] Hippie: We're so sorry you had to wait this long to see him. But this Yeti is the last of its species. We have to be very selective who we let visit. That said, we're told you're a primate violence specialist, Doctor Joanbaez. "Doctor Joanbaez": Yes. I am the best at primate violence. I'll be square with you, though. This monkey of yours is a creampuff. Bidwell: Reddy? What is it? [The view shifts to reveal a passive Yeti across from them, sniffing a flower] Hippie: Yes, and thank god. When we found him he was unspeakably savage. "Doctor Joanbaez": You don't say. Hippie: It's taken months of behavioral counseling and intense aromatherapy just to get the poor thing this far. Even the slightest aggressive gesture could erase all the pacification work we've done. "Doctor Joanbaez": Something as trivial as hitting him? Hippie: Well-- "Doctor Joanbaez": In the face, say. Just spitballing here. Hippie: I don't even like to think about it. Nothing on Earth would be able to stop him. [Saxton Hale grins whilst cracking his knuckles. Bidwell now wears a shocked expression as he stands up] Bidwell: Slow down, Reddy. Which facility? What do you mean "all of them"? Sir, Mann Co. is under attack! [Saxton Hale turns to face Bidwell, no longer grinning] Saxton Hale: I know. Bidwell: We—what do you mean you know? Saxton Hale: Found out yesterday. Damn it, Bidwell, you know my stance on having sensible conversations with hippies. I'm stridently against it. Bidwell: You insisted I wear a costume for this operation, sir. Saxton Hale: Well, now I'm insisting you look too convincing. All I'm hearing out of your mouth is "I don't have a job, please put your fist through my sternum." Bidwell: Sir, when were you planning on telling me that Redmond and Blutarch Mann are dead and their long-lost brother is launching his robot army at every Mann Co. facility on Earth? Saxton Hale: Tonight. Over Yeti steaks. Bidwell: Mister Hale, we need to leave now. [Saxton Hale turns away, now grinning again] Saxton Hale: Bidwell, I have waited ten blasted months for this. I've forged credentials. I've bribed officials. I think I had Bob Hope killed, and in retrospect I don't even remember why that was necessary. I'm not going to sugar-coat it, we are probably going to jail again. If all that wasn't enough, I've had to pretend to be a hippie for ten minutes now. Listen to my words, Bidwell. These are truth words. I am going to fight that @#$%ing monkey. Bidwell: I-- but-- *sigh* look, I have a video camera. Maybe you could deal with this crisis while you fight the Ye-- [Suddenly, Saxton Hale's disguise as "Doctor Joanbaez" blows off in an explosion as he jumps over the log, with the text 'UNDISGUISED!' for dramatic effect, as Bidwell prepares to bring out a video camera. The hippies watch on powerlessly] Saxton Hale: Mercenaries! Join me for fortune and glory! Bidwell: Not recording yet, sir. Hippie: HALE! Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest! [The view changes to the perspective of a recording video camera, as Saxton Hale charges towards the Yeti, of whom is now noticed his approach and smiles to him] Saxton Hale: How about now? Bidwell: Rolling, sir. Saxton Hale: Good. Listen up, mercs! [He punches the Yeti cleanly in the face, with the text 'EXPLOSIPUNCH!' for emphasis] Saxton Hale: There are robots coming! [The Yeti, now enraged, begins to fight with and bite Saxton Hale's arm, causing it to bleed] Saxton Hale: I won't smooch backsides on this either. These things are bigger than you. They're stronger than you. In fact, now that I'm saying it out loud, they're better than you at just about everything. Bidwell! Idea! What if we just hired the robots to-- Bidwell: No, sir. Saxton Hale: Damn. Bidwell, stop tape. These mercs are going to die. Bidwell: Not necessarily, sir. We do have an R🙲D devision. What if we give them all our experimental new tech? Saxton Hale: "Give"? Bidwell. Can you see my teats in this shot? Bidwell: No, sir. I've chosen a tight close-up on the Yeti's fangs. Saxton Hale: Oo! Good. Where was I? Right. Teats. They're dry, Bidwell. Dry from from(sic) all the suckling. You and these mercs have suckled them dry. No. They'll pay for our products like everybody else! [The view shifts to a room containing a bloodstained package reading 'FRAGILE CONTENTS' 'FILM CANISTER' 'DO NOT EXPOSE TO SUNLIGHT' alongside some notes on a table, as well as a television, with all nine mercs — each representing either RED or BLU team — and Miss Pauling stationed around it] Bidwell: Sir, they are defending your company from extinction... Saxton Hale: Bullsauce! They're as neck-deep in this as I am! In fact, why am I even talking to you? Mercs! Your jobs died with the Mann brothers. You hear me? As of now, you are all unemployed! Also, straight plain talk here: nobody's ever going to hire a non-metal man again with these robots around! I've seen them. They are spectacular. Now for the good news! You're all re-hired! Grab a pen, here's your new job description: Kill robots! Now get out there and kick some can! [The end of the tape shows Saxton Hale being pinned down by the Yeti] Saxton Hale: I'd help, but as you can see, I will be fighting a Yeti for nine more hours. MAKE ME PROUD, BOYS! [Miss Pauling sits in a chair to address the mercs directly] Miss Pauling: So... Scout: Yo, Miss Pauling! Miss Pauling: Keeping in mind I will not be taking any questions from Scout... Scout: Aw. Miss Pauling: Are there any questions? Sniper: I got one. We getting paid for this? [Out of view, the television suddenly resumes playing the tape again] Saxton Hale: Saxton Hale again. This is pre-taped, so I don't know what anybody's talking about right now, but I am not paying you for this. Yeti: RRARRRGH! Saxton Hale: Whoa! Ha ha ha! Miss Pauling: For reasons I can't comprehend or explain, the robots run on piles of money. Destroy them and whatever falls out is yours. Any more questions? No? Good. Get to Mann Co. immediately. And remember... [The scene changes to the mercs gearing up to fight. Some of the mercs have special equipment, such as Engineer preparing a Gunslinger, and Demoman putting on a crown] Miss Pauling: [...this isn't like any other assignment you've been given.] [It's much, much more serious.] [This isn't just a fight for Mann Co., or Saxton Hale] [It's a fight for your jobs.] [Get to work.] TO BE CONTINUED IN MANN VS MACHINE |
漫画页面(中文汉化)
漫画页面(英文原版)
注释
- 以下的页码均指汉化版页码。
- 第 17 页
- 间谍的西服在 16 页上是带有条纹的,然而到了这一页条纹就都消失了。
- 机枪手在上一页中是没有戴手套的,但在这一页中手套却出现了。
- 士兵身穿红队的制服,却戴着蓝队的头盔。
- 第 19 页
- 工程师在漫画的 28 页与 29 页穿了一件 T 恤衫而非团队色的工作服。
- 工程师的头盔之下可以看到少许橙色的头发,然而在之前发布的漫画中,工程师是以秃顶的形象出现的。
- 爆破手正拾起他的塔维什王子的皇冠,而工程师装备着枪炮工之臂。此外,还可在他们身后的储物柜上看到官员的红军帽,医生的机械医疗器,独家杀手,苏格兰软帽。
细枝末节
- 以下的页码均指汉化版页码。
- 封面
- 该漫画的标题“A Fate Worse Than Chess”由短语“A fate worse than death”(比死亡还可怕的命运,即“生不如死”)修改而来,后者用于指代会使得某人的人生陷入极度困难的厄运。
- 第 2 页
- 第 5 页
- 漫画中的参考注释“阅读 Team Fortress #2”除了对《军团要塞2》的游戏名称做了一个娱乐性的引用外,事实上也指向了同碎石战争期间剧情相关的两部漫画:《跌宕事典》与《骨肉兄弟》,尤其是在后者中雷德蒙德·曼恩与布鲁塔克·曼恩两兄弟遭到了格雷·曼恩的杀害而导致了碎石战争的结束。这一段剧情在后来的 TF 漫画系列中的回忆篇也有所总结追叙。
- 第 6 页
- 霍尔的伪造身份“Joanbaez博士”,参考了20世纪60年代的民谣歌手琼·贝兹。她尤其以激进的反暴力主张而闻名,这与霍尔的反差显得别具讽刺意味。
- 第 7 页
- 比德维尔的服饰,形似专辑《佩珀军士的孤独之心俱乐部乐队》封面中的艺术家打扮——这是20世纪60年代著名乐队“披头士”的作品,还赢得了1968年的格莱美年度专辑奖。
- 第 10 页
- 在20世纪60年代到70年代的反战运动与一些其它社会活动中,个别人士会以所谓的“公民逮捕”(citizen's arrest)为名义来组织违法的反文化运动(事实上与绑架无异)。[3][4][5]
另见
参考内容
- ↑ 本·波瓦(英语),《How to Make a Monster》(英语),发表于《Boys' Life》(英语),1974 年 5 月刊第 36 页。
- ↑ 范·沃格特,《The Voyage of the Space Beagle》(英语),1950 年版第 6 页。
- ↑ 《The FBI Encyclopedia》(英语),Michael Newton,第 34 页。书中提到了 1970 年有人试图对亨利·基辛格执行“公民逮捕”(绑架)以求终止越南战争。
- ↑ 《161 Battery civic parade in Auckland》(英语),原文:“… the commander of 161 Battery, Major John Masters was the subject of a citizen’s arrest by members of a peace group and charged with "offensive and disorderly behavior" for parading his unit up Queen Street.”
- ↑ Andrea Rochelle Blimling,《Blood on the Third Coast: Causes and Consequences of Madison 's 1970 Sterling Hall Bombing》,第 17 页。原文:“… when between twelve and twenty students, activists and radicals together, marched to Truax Army Air Base(英语) to make a citizen's arrest of the base commanders.”
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