比德维尔的大计划
| 比德维尔的大计划 | |
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| 漫画信息 | |
| 发布日期: | 2010年9月30日 |
| 页数: | 6 |
| 艺术家: | Michael Oeming |
| “ | 如果你和我是一类人的话,你会想要直接去看第六页,我在那一页从建筑内朝外纵身一跃,紧接着就把一帮嬉皮士打得落花流水。为啥?我不知道,也永远不会想要知道。那是“曼恩公司漫画誓约”的一部分。
— 萨克斯顿·霍尔
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《比德维尔的大计划(Bidwell's Big Plan)》是于2011年5月5日补丁随曼恩企业更新发布的一部漫画。它以漫画的形式解释了关于销售社区制作物品的想法。而“比德维尔的大计划”随着萨克斯顿·霍尔在“跟(他的)宿敌与前任导师查尔斯·达林经历了一场震撼人心的抗争”而被踢出飞机后展开。
这部漫画在塑造萨克斯顿·霍尔,引入他的宿敌,以及介绍曼恩公司商店的主意这三个方面有着重要的作用。同时在这部漫画中,第一次有角色提到神秘的“她”。
故事梗概
漫画开始时,萨克斯顿·霍尔正用手悬挂在一架飞机的边缘,与他曾经的狩猎导师查尔斯·达林对峙。达林一直以来都在收集濒危动物,以把它们作为“战利品”而“关在栏杆后面”(在他的动物园里),而这与霍尔“把地球上最危险的动物揍到把手表都弄掉为止”的思想大相径庭。达林最终一脚将霍尔踢出飞机的边缘。在萨克斯顿下坠的同时,他建议读者直接去读第 6 页以直入战斗的主题,因为接下的几页内容主要是他的助手在提议一个购买帽子的新方案。
霍尔试图使用一只濒危的鹰以安全地滑翔到地面,但由于他实在太重而导致鹰也与他一同下坠,使得他们径直穿破霍尔在曼恩公司总部办公室的天窗,而比德维尔正在那里等他。比德维尔解释道曼恩公司的客户们为产品数量的有限选择感到不满而开始自行研发了。而这激怒了霍尔,使他甚至有了杀死所有客户的想法,但这也被比德维尔阻止了。比德维尔提议让这些原创物品也通过曼恩公司来销售,而曼恩公司则给那些设计者提供一定的分红。霍尔原本对于这一想法十分谨慎,但他被“嬉皮士的气味”分散了注意力,接着跳出了窗户,同在曼恩公司总部停车场抗议的嬉皮士们搏斗。
文稿
| Bidwell's Big Plan |
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| [The comic opens on a large plane the stormy sky, with the silhoette of Saxton Hale hanging from the back of the cargo-bay doors. The plane is inscribed with the text 'DARLING ZOOS' on the side. A figure stands above Saxton Hale]
Saxton Hale: Blast it, Darling! This is WRONG! Hunting's supposed to be about tracking the most dangerous bloody killing machines on earth! Then punching them until you lose your watch! You don't put them behind bars! [The figure, revealed to be Charles Darling, looks down at Saxton Hale while holding a cane. Several animals in wooden box cages surround him] Darling: A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up. For Her. [He kicks Saxton Hale's hand away from the plane, with the text 'NEMESIS KICK!' for emphasis] Saxton Hale: Nooo [As Saxton Hale falls, he begins to monologue through the comic itself] Saxton Hale: [Your eyes didn't just deceive you, reader! I -- Saxton Hale -- just had a dramatic confrontation with my nemesis and former mentor, Charles Darling!] [These other adventure rags would have saved a gem like that for the climactic ending to a four-part story! Not here! At Mann Co., we know your time is precious. Only wetnurses and jazz guitarists want to sit around reading page after page of character development just to find out why people are fighting. Our comics cut right to the fights. Half the time I don't even know why I'm hitting something!] DARRRLING! [The next few pages have my assistants blathering on about some new way to buy hats. If you're like me, you'll want to skip directly to page six, where I jump out of a building and sock it to some hippies. Why? I don't know. And I never will. That's a Mann Co. Comics promise.] [Luckily, he spots an endangered eagle as he falls towards the earth] Saxton Hale: [Luckily, I spot an endangered eagle as I fall towards the Earth!] Aha! I can use this noble creature to glide safely to the ground! [He grabs the eagle, pulling it down with him...] Eagle: Awk Saxton Hale: [This turns out not to be the case! Instead, my weight causes the eagle to plummet also.] [He then crashes directly through a window, still holding the eagle, landing infront of his assistants Mr. Bidwell and Mr. Reddy. The text 'SMASH' is shown during this for emphasis] Saxton Hale: [...directly through the skylight at my office at Mann Co. Headquarters!] Mister Bidwell! Mister Reddy! Marvelous news! Do you remember my old hunting teacher, Charles Darling? He's my nemesis now! Eagle: Awk Reddy: I'll add him to the list, sir. [As Saxton Hale bandages his bloodied arm, Bidwell approaches him with a worried expression] Saxton Hale: Oh, I am going to beat the hell out of him. Bidwell: Sir? We have a bit of an emergency. Saxton Hale: Damn it, Bidwell, what are you scowling about? Here. Have an eagle. [Saxton Hale holds up the eagle by its legs, offering it to them as they talk] Eagle: Brawk! Saxton Hale: They're endangered. If anyone asks where you got it, I would just run. Bidwell: Sir. It's about our customers. Saxton Hale: What? What are those weeping crybabies sniveling about now? Bidwell: Our customers are demanding more, sir. Saxton Hale: More what? Guns? Clothes? Hats? Scars? Reddy: More everything, sir. [Suddenly, Saxton Hale raises his fist] Saxton Hale: Horseradish! They'll take our current inventory and like it! Cheaply made, unsafe products that catch on fire! Reddy: Keep in mind, sir, that in the absense of new Mann Co. products, our customers are designing their own. [Saxton Hale looks at them both with a more serious expression] Saxton Hale: Not the equal of Mann Co. brand, I'll bet. Reddy: No, sir, they're better. Saxton Hale: Ohhhhh, they are dead men. [He then begins to walk away. Bidwell walks after him as Reddy continues to stands in place] Bidwell: The customer is always right, sir. Saxton Hale: The customer is a dead man, Bidwell. Bidwell: I did have a thought. If they're going to build items anyway... why don't we offer to sell them through Mann Co.? Saxton Hale: Oo! I like it. Bidwell: We could even give them a cut of the profits. Saxton Hale: Ha ha ha! What? Wait! I just realized I stopped caring about this conversation five minutes ago. Take care of it Bidwell, I-- sniff sniff [Saxton Hale abruptly stops, then begins to smell the air around him. The text 'SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF' is used for emphasis] Saxton Hale: Patchouli oil... entitlement... poster board glue... smooth hands... HIPPIES! [He then jumps out of a window, with the text 'SPKSH!' for emphasis, into a crowd of hippies. They carry various signs, some slightly (obscured), reading from left to right downwards; '(MANN) CO? HELL (NO!)', 'NO!', 'NO MORE GUNS', 'PUT A SHIRT ON', 'STOP SELLING TO (M)ERCENARI(ES)', 'RED AND B(LU?) NO THANK (YOU!)', 'SAY NO TO MOUSTACHES'. He begins to monologue through the comic once more, under the assumption the reader skipped ahead as mentioned in his previous monologue] Saxton Hale: Ha ha ha ha ha [Dear reader: You made the right choice skipping ahead!] [Now, this fight goes on for another six pages, and let me tell you, I come off looking pretty damn good in it.] [Especially on the fifth page. Oh, I really give it to them on that page.] [After that there's several boring pages involving the police. You can skip those.] [I'd skip the whole rest of the issue, actually. I'm looking through it now and most of it involves litigation.] [Oh! But in next month's issue I punch a tiger! Buy that issue. I'm leafing through it now and it's easily twice as good as the comic you just bought. I don't want to spoil page 18 for you, but I suplex a business rival through a table.] THIS FIGHT CONTINUES FOR SIX PAGES! |
漫画页面(中文汉化)
漫画页面(英文原版)
漫画页面(无文本)
注释
- 第 1 页
- 第 3 & 5 页
- 第 4 页
细枝末节
- 第 1 页
- 第 2 页
- 漫画中的“把一帮嬉皮士打得落花流水”译自“sock it to some hippies”。“Sock It To Me(英语)”是1967-68年间盛行的流行语,意思是“快告诉我吧/别卖关子了”(通常指不好的消息)。
- 第 5 页
- 第 6 页
- 嬉皮士在漫画中以和平抗议者的形象而出现,他们反对以曼恩公司与以萨克斯顿·霍尔个人为代表的军工复合体:
- “停止对佣兵销售产品”与“反对武器”:嬉皮士们在历史上曾组织过抗议活动,反对生产武器来供应越南战争。
- “曼恩公司?真是该死!”:译自“Mann Co?Hell no!”——嬉皮士曾高呼“Hell no”以支持拒服兵役运动。
- “穿上衣服”:讽刺的是,上半身一丝不挂(无论男女)也是嬉皮士采用的抗议方式之一。
另见
外部链接
- TF2官方网站上的《比德维尔的大计划》 (英语)。
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