Jungle Inferno (Video)
|Released:||October 16, 2017|
After a decade of dustbowls and gravel pits, it’s time to pack your snorkel, find your flip-flops, and endure a series of painful yellow fever vaccinations to your abdomen, because Team Fortress is heading to the tropics!
|[Camera fades in on a sign reading 'Weapons Factory' with a planning permission slip stuck to it, that says 'YETI PARK'. A Soldier walks into view as "Yeti Park" plays. He looks around before waving his team over and walking off screen. A Sniper and a Pyro follow him as the slip blows away and the camera pans to a view of a facility with a large Mann Co. sign on the wall. A Scout and a Spy can be seen entering in the distance. Camera cuts to an inside view of a darkened room within the facility. An air vent cover falls from the ceiling as Scout and Spy silently drop into the room. Scout switches on a flashlight as the camera cuts to a close-up of them both]
Scout: "No sign of 'em here..."
[Scout talks into his earpiece]
Scout: "You guys see anything?"
[Camera cuts back to outside where Pyro, Sniper and Soldier can be seen. Soldier kicks over a large crate and several bunches of bananas spill out. Pyro shrugs and mumbles into his walkie-talkie as the camera cuts back inside. Scout rolls his eyes as he and the Spy slowly make their way through the facility.]
Scout: "Uh... Hello?"
[Camera cuts to wide shot of a dark open area that the Scout and the Spy walk into.]
Scout: "A-anybody in here?"
[Camera cuts to a damaged sign as the Scout shines his flashlight on it. It reads "WELCOME. YETI PARK."]
[Camera cuts back to the room]
[A loud growl can be heard as a dark figure walks past the camera. Camera cuts to a close view of the Scout as he screams and jumps back into the Spy who looks around worriedly.]
Scout: "IT'S... probably... nothin’! Just a... a... just a car backfirin'! Or... possibly-"
[Scout slips on something and falls off screen. Camera cuts to a close up of the Scout as he picks up his flashlight and shines it around. Camera slowly zooms out to reveal that the Scout actually slipped on some blood.]
Scout: "What the... Spy, you seein' this?"
[The Spy cloaks and runs away silently]
[A door can be heard opening and then shutting]
Scout (angrily): "Spy..."
[A clattering can be heard, scaring the Scout who looks around in a panic]
Scout: "Who's there? Is somebody there? 'Cause you uh..."
[Camera cuts to a shadowy view of the floor as the Scout shines his flashlight around]
Scout: "...left all your... blood!.. out here... and some..."
[The flashlight reveals a pair of bare legs wearing work boots.]
Scout: "...claw marks."
[Camera cuts back to the Scout as the legs slowly walk towards him. He slowly moves the flashlight upwards whilst squinting.]
Scout: "Please let there be pants; Please let there be pants; Please let there be pants; Please let there be pants..."
[Camera cuts back to the legs as the Scout shines the flashlight up, revealing a pair of shorts belted with a golden kangaroo buckle. Camera cuts back to the Scout.]
Scout: "Oh thank go-"
[The owner of the legs grabs the Scout and pulls him into a headlock as the camera cuts to the mysterious person. He reveals himself as none other than Saxton Hale himself.]
Scout: "Let me go down! Okay, let me go."
[Camera cuts to a close-up of Saxton's face as he puts a hand over Scout's mouth]
Saxton Hale: "Shhhhhhshshsh... It can smell fear..."
[Camera cuts back outside to a plant that Sniper quickly chops down with his kukri, revealing him and Soldier. Sniper walks off screen as Soldier eats a banana.]
Saxton Hale: "...and it's close."
[Soldier then hears a low growling off screen and looks over to his left. Camera cuts to a view from inside some bushes. A roar can be heard as the camera quickly zooms in on Soldier as if something is running after him. He screams as the banana he was eating goes flying out of his hand. Camera cuts to a shot of some treetops as Soldier's flying banana joins some birds fleeing from the commotion. Camera cuts back to the Scout and Saxton. Upon hearing Soldier's scream, he laughs.]
Saxton Hale: "Hah-hah! There you are..."
[Camera cuts to a wider shot of Saxton who then runs, still carrying the Scout in a headlock, directly through a wall, leaving an Australia shaped hole behind. Camera cuts outside to a close-up of Scout under Saxton's arm as he is being carried quickly through the jungle. Several leaves and sticks hit Scout in the face]
Scout: "Slow down!"
[The Scout gets hit in the face with plants along the way.]
[Camera cuts to a wider shot of Saxton running towards the camera as it follows him, leaping over logs and dodging trees. As a leaf goes past the camera, it transitions to a closer shot of Saxton's face.]
Saxton Hale: "Everybody said 'Don't do it...'."
[Saxton throws the screaming Scout into the air whilst still running, dives through an electric fence, narrowly avoiding the 10,000 volt cables, rolls on the ground, continues running and then catches the Scout on the other side, cradling him in his arms.]
Saxton Hale (continuing): "'...You can't build a theme park with the deadliest animals on earth!'"
[Camera cuts to a view of the Sniper being thrown against a wall and falling unconscious, as ape-like feet step past him while the creature growls. Camera cuts to a close-up of the Pyro getting stepped on by the same ape-like foot. Camera cuts to a close-up of the Soldier's shotgun as he fires it at something off-screen. An ape-like hand slams him off-screen as blood flies as the hidden creature growls again. Camera cuts back to a wide angled shot of Saxton, now holding the Scout back in a headlock, leaping across logs floating in crocodile infested waters. He then uses a vine to swing and then land, almost getting bitten by a crocodile below. Camera cuts to a view of Saxton landing on the ground and crouching for a moment.]
Saxton Hale (continuing): "'...They'll escape! Nature finds a way.'"
[He then runs off screen as the camera cuts back to a front view of Saxton as he runs towards it and laughs."
Saxton Hale: "Hah-hah-hah... That was the whole, bloody point!"
[Saxton leaps into the air as the camera cuts to a long shot of Saxton soaring over giant white letters, similar to the Hollywood Sign, as the Scout screams from beneath Saxton's arm. Camera cuts to an electric fence as Saxton lands in front of it, cracking the ground. He slowly looks up, smiling. Camera cuts to a wide view of the mysterious creature that is revealed to be a yeti. It holds the Soldier above its head as the camera quickly zooms in on the yeti. It then snaps the Soldier's back in half as he screams and throws his body towards the Scout and Saxton, roaring, as the camera cuts to them. As Soldier's body flies overhead, the camera cuts to a close-up of them.]
Scout: "Oh dear God no..."
Saxton Hale: "Don't worry, son. Stick with me. You'll be just fine..."
[Camera cuts to a close-up of the yeti as it roars and runs towards both of them. Camera follows the yeti as it runs.]
Scout: "Oh God yeti; No yeti; Please run yeti; Please-"
[Camera cuts behind Saxton as he swings the Scout like a club, hitting the yeti in the face, causing it to go flying backwards. Camera cuts to a view of the yeti flying into a crate, destroying it and spilling bananas everywhere. Saxton runs towards the yeti still brandishing the Scout as a weapon. Camera cuts to a view of the yeti as he struggles to his feet. It takes a swing at Saxton as he runs past. Camera cuts behind the yeti as Saxton brings the Scout down on it. The yeti blocks Saxton's blow. Camera cuts to a close-up of the Scout looking at the yeti, as he nervously laughs. The yeti roars in his face as the Scout screams girlishly. Camera cuts to a wider shot as the yeti punches Saxton. The force of the punch causes him to slide backwards a fair few feet. Camera cuts back to the yeti who then roars and beats his chest before running towards Saxton. Camera cuts back to Saxton as he just stands there and laughs.]
Saxton Hale: "Ho-ho-ho, yeah..."
[Camera cuts to a close-up of the Scout.]]
Scout (Gasping): "Please don't..."
[Camera cuts back to a wider shot of Saxton as he throws the Scout towards the yeti. Camera cuts to a slow-motion shot of the Scout spinning through the air towards the still-running yeti. Camera cuts to Saxton as he laughs and runs towards the Scout. Camera cuts to a wider shot of Saxton jumping up, using Scout as a platform to propel himself towards the yeti who has also leapt into the air. Saxton pirouettes in the air and winds up a powerful punch.]
Saxton Hale: "Yeti... PUNCH!"
[Camera cuts between multiple replays of Saxton's fist colliding with the yeti and then cuts to a top down view of the area as the yeti explodes, covering the arena in a cloud of blood. The yeti's head flies towards the screen. Camera cuts back to the ground, behind Saxton as he places his hands on his hips and laughs heartily. Various yeti gibs and drops of blood rain down around him. Saxton slowly turns around as the camera cuts to a closer shot of him. He flicks a piece of intestine off his shoulder as "Saxton's Dilemma" begins to play.]
Saxton Hale: "Welcome... to Yeti... PAAAAAaaeegh..."
[A mobile phone can be heard ringing, cutting Saxton off. He answers it.]
Saxton Hale: "Saxton Hale here!.. Yep, another one escaped..."
[Camera cuts to a view of the Soldier crawling along the floor, apparently surviving his broken back, albeit being paralysed from the waist down. He notices the yeti head and looks surprised. The Scout can be seen laying on the ground as Saxton walks off screen, also recovering from his ordeal. He looks around at the scene in shock.]
Saxton Hale: "...Yeah, I killed it... Nah, this time it exploded! Ah, the kids are gonna love it..."
[Camera cuts to a close-up of Saxton talking on his mobile phone as he paces back and forth.]
Saxton Hale: "...Anyway! We need more yetis... No more left, huh?.. Extinct you say?.."
[Camera cuts to wide-angle shot behind the mercenaries recovering as Saxton paces back and forth in the background.]
Saxton Hale: "Bidwell, I'll be square with ya... It's a Yeti. Fighting. Park. If I don't have a yeti, it's just a fighting park!"
[Camera cuts to a shot of the Soldier laying on the ground as the Scout sits up and picks yeti gibs off of himself. The Spy de-cloaks behind them both.]
Saxton Hale: "Where am I gonna find a group of lunatics..."
[Scout and Soldier start to smile as the camera cuts back to wide shot of mercs. Spy and Sniper step into view.]
Saxton Hale: "...Willing to come all this way... just to fight..."
[Saxton glances at the mercs and pauses for a moment, the camera cuts to them as the Pyro walks into the scene, holding one of the yeti's arms. The Soldier nods and the Scout waves his hand slightly.]
Saxton Hale: "...To fight each other..."
[Camera cuts to black as "Mercenary Park" begins to play.]
Saxton Hale: "Three!.. Two!.. One!.."
[Camera fades into a close-up of a Demoman holding his Grenade Launcher.]
Saxton Hale: "Fight!"
[Saxton Hale laughs off screen as the camera zooms out revealing a Heavy, the Soldier and an Engineer to the side of the Demoman. Demoman runs towards the screen as the four of them begin firing on BLU team members nearby. Demoman fires a grenade towards the camera which quickly pans away to a view of dead BLU team members. The grenade bounces off a nearby wall and lands beneath a fleeing BLU Soldier who then gets caught in the explosion. Camera pans upwards, following the explosion through the ceiling, where the Scout is running outside. Camera follows the Scout as he runs across a walkway. The Pyro rockets past using their Thermal Thruster. Camera follows Pyro as they land below, burning a BLU Scout to death. Pyro then rockets and twirls into the air. The huge white 'YETI PARK' sign can be seen in the distance with a banner, that reads 'MERCENARY', placed in front of the word 'YETI'.]
Saxton Hale: "Welcome!.. to Mercenary... PARK!"
[Screen cuts to black and fades in on the Jungle Inferno Update logo as the music fades away. Credits are shown.]
- The animation used for the BLU Soldier at 3:47 is reused from Meet the Spy, when Soldier jumps from the stairs and runs towards the Intelligence room.