Loose Canon
Loose Canon | |
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Comic Strip Info | |
Released: | July 2, 2010 |
Number of pages: | 13 |
Artist: | Heather "makani" Campbell |
“ | Why don't you go ahead and call me Dell, ma'am.
"Mister Conagher" was my grandfather's name.
— The Engineer
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Loose Canon is a comic that was released on July 2, 2010, three days before the announcement of the Engineer Update. It tells the story of how the initial wars between RED and BLU began, about brothers Redmond and Blutarch Mann, and the roles that the Engineer and his family have played throughout the generations. It also features the first marked appearance of Australium.
The comic is notable for building on the story of Zephaniah Mann and introducing Radigan Conagher.
Synopsis
Loose Canon opens in the present day with the Engineer waiting for a meeting with Blutarch Mann. He is greeted by an elderly woman who tells him that Blutarch is ready to see him. They briefly talk about the painting hanging behind the Engineer, who asks to be called Dell. As they walk to his office, she inquires whether the Engineer knows of his grandfather's relationship with the Mann family, however the Engineer is unaware of any. The woman explains that many years ago, his grandfather solved a sensitive issue for Blutarch, but implies that his solution is starting to fail. She closes by saying that Blutarch will explain it all himself, and also for the Engineer not to shake his hand.
The comic then cuts to 1850 to the reading of Zepheniah Mann's will. Zepheniah's maidservant, Elizabeth, receives the rest and residue of his estate; Saxton Hale's grandfather, Barnabas, receives complete control of Mann Co. and something else (the narrator of the will is interrupted by Barnabas fighting a cougar); and finally Blutarch and Redmond receive "partnership" in the form of an equal share of whatever land remained in Zepheniah's possession. This is due to Blutarch and Redmond spending their entire lives bickering over nothing, and so are left something of consequence over which to feud.
The comic then jumps 40 years to 1890, where Radigan is in a meeting with a now-aged Blutarch. Blutarch explains that he and his brother both immediately hired a team of mercenaries in order to take control of each other’s land, and because of this have been in a stalemate for 40 years. Since he could no longer take his brother's land by force, he decided to simply outlast him. However, Redmond has yet to die. Blutarch then states that he wants Radigan to build him a machine to prolong his life and outlast his brother. Radigan silently thinks for a moment before agreeing.
That evening, Radigan returns home. Unlocking the front door to his Tools and Munitions store, Radigan discovers an unknown woman waiting for him inside. Though the woman bears a resemblance to the Administrator, she cuts Radigan off before he can ask, claiming it would be quicker if he did not ask who she is or how she knows what she knows. She is aware that Radigan has agreed to build a machine to prolong Blutarch's life, and asks if it would be possible for him not to. Radigan declines. Expecting as much, the woman proposes an alternative: she presents Radigan with a gold ingot. The woman goes on to explain how Australians have outpaced the world in terms of technology for the last 40 years, despite being a land of savages. The element Australium is only found in small caches in Australia. She claims to have spent the last 10 years collecting 100 pounds of the element, and that she will give it all to Radigan in exchange for him building an additional life support machine for Redmond.
The comic then returns to the present day meeting between Blutarch and the Engineer. Blutarch states that Redmond also built a life support machine, apparently unaware that Radigan was the one that built it. He then angrily explains that the machine has started to break down and he wants the Engineer to fix it. The Engineer then explains that while he's flattered they thought to ask him to fix it, he has no idea how the machine works, and that he would more than likely kill Blutarch if he touched it. Blutarch asks if he could fix it if he had his grandfather’s blueprints, which the Engineer states he could, but that the blueprints were buried with his grandfather. Blutarch then throws the blueprints on the desk, saying that he has spent the last 60 years and a small fortune trying to decipher them to no avail. He then states that the Engineer may borrow them on one condition, but freezes mid-sentence. Confused, the Engineer asks if he is alright, to which Blutarch's assistant says that he's just dead. The machine then electrocutes Blutarch back to life. He grabs the Engineer and states that each day he stays dead a little bit longer, and that there is nothing on the other side. He tells him to fix the machine.
Later, at his workshop, as Dell shifts through his grandfather's blueprints and notes, the voice over of Blutarch continues to say that the Engineer has been lent the blueprints to decipher them and learn how to fix the machine. Blutarch also states that should the Engineer find anything else of interest, the Engineer must not build it, but bring it directly back to him. The Engineer is then shown grinning after finding a file titled Guns: Maps of Australium Caches.
Transcript
Loose Canon |
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[The comic opens in the present day, with the BLU Engineer at the mansion of Blutarch Mann, as an elderly woman approaches him]
Elderly Woman: Mister Conagher? Mister Mann will see you now. Engineer: Yes, ma'am. Say, uh... that ain't an original Kicasso, is it? [The angle changes to show them looking at a painting of a man with an unknown beast hiding in a bush behind him, as they walk down the hallway] Elderly Woman: What an excellent eye you have, Mister Conagher. It is. From his "Hunted in the Jungle" period, I believe. Engineer: Why don't you go ahead and call me Dell, ma'am. "Mister Conagher" was my grandfather's name. Elderly Woman: Yes, I remember. [They exchange looks as they approach the door to Blutarch's office] Elderly Woman: How much do you know about his relationship with the Manns, Dell? Engineer: First I've heard he had one, ma'am. Radigan Conagher was not a chatty man. Elderly Woman: Sixty years ago, your grandfather solved a rather... sensitive problem for us. Well... maybe "solved" is too strong a word. But I'm sure Mister Mann will want to tell you about it himself. Oh! One last thing. Even if he offers... do not shake his hand. He forgets sometimes. [The scene changes to the year 1850, where a last will is being read by the mayor. A woman is seen smoking from a cigarette holder] Mayor: "...to my dearest maidservant Elizabeth, I, Zephaniah Mann *, leave the rest and residue of my estate..." "...to my faithful aide and tracker, Barnabus Hale of the savage Australias, I divest complete control of Mann Co., and--" [Suddenly, a cougar breaks through a window, as Barnabus Hale while sitting in a chair grabs it and holds it back, with the text 'COUGAR!' for emphasis.]] Barnabus Hale: Skip me for now, Mayor! I like this cougar's pepper sauce! [The Mayor continues, with the angle changing to the body of Zephaniah Mann wearing a crooked, worn-out black tophat, laying in a casket surrounded by candles] Mayor: "...to my layabout, brain defective sons, Blutarch and Redmond, I leave the greatest curse of all..." "Partnership." [Angle changes to show a young Blutarch and Redmond Mann, both with a bewildered expression] Mayor: "You have wasted your lives bickering over nothing." "And so I leave you dimwits something of consequence over which to feud." [Scene changes to fourty years later, with Radigan sitting in Blutarch's office] Blutarch: Mister Conagher, I'm told you are a man of many ideas and few words. So I'll get straight to the point. Forty years ago, my brother and I inhereted a considerable parcel of land. To share. Naturally, I assembled a team of the world's deadliest mercenaries to take it all by force. [Angle changes to a picture of the original mercenary team, followed by Blutarch in his chair hooked up to a life-support machine, with a lady standing next to him] Blutarch: What I did not expect was my idiot brother would think to do the same. My ten-minute land grab became an intractable stalemate. The solution? If I could not take my brother's land... I would simply outlast him for it. Look at my hands, Mister Conagher. [He holds up a hand, admiring it] Blutarch: I have never worked a day in my life with them. They are the smooth hands of a baby. I have mounted an epic campaign of leisure against the ravages of time. Waiting for nature' to do to my brother what my men could not. [His expression then changes to anger, putting his hand on his chin] Blutarch: And yet here we are at the end. And he... won't... DIE. [Angle changes to show a painting of Zephania, Blutarch and Redmond Mann; Zephania has a stiff expression, Blutarch is drawn to appear more handsome and well-rounded, with shining white teeth, and Redmond Mann is depicted more ugly and off-colour, with his hat not fitting correctly] Blutarch: I must outlive my brother. And you must build me a machine to do it. God wants me dead, Mister Conagher. And we are going to defy him. [Angle changes to a close-up of Blutarch's face] Blutarch: Make me a monster. [Radigan looks forward at Blutarch, looks to the side for a moment, before looking back after some time] Radigan: Alright. [The scene changes to later, as Radigan arrives back at his shop, 'Conagher's Tool & Munitions', where he finds Elizabeth waiting inside] Elizabeth: Don't just stand there in the rain, Mister Conagher. Come in., you're soaked to the bone, poor thing. Radigan: Who— Elizabeth: It will save us both a lot of time if you don't ask who I am or how I know what I know. Who I am does not concern you. What I know is that you've agreed to build Blutarch Mann a machine that will prolong his life indefinitely. [Radigan approaches his desk, picking up some documents] Radigan: Yes ma'am. Elizabeth: Mister Conagher, could I possibly convince you not to build this machine? Radigan: No ma'am. Elizabeth: No, I didn't think so. So let me propose an alternative. [She holds up a golden-colored bar. The scene cuts to show a depiction of Australia, with futuristic buildings and aircrafts, with one aircraft trailing a sign reading 'DRINK MORE BEER, MATE!', as well as several Australian people. Everyone, including the women, have a moustache] Elizabeth: For the last forty years the Australians have outpaced the world in technology. And this is confounding, since by all appearances they are a nation of idiots. [Cuts back to Elizabeth and Radigan, the latter of whom clearly intrigued by the golden bar] Elizabeth: Teleportation. Cloaking. The entire spectrum of the moustache sciences. Every one of mankind's innovations now comes from the lager-pickled brain of an Australian. Because of this. Radigan: Gold? Elizabeth: Not gold, Mister Conagher, Australium. Radigan: Uh huh. Why's there a picture of a man boxin' a kangaroo on it? Elizabeth: It's how they choose their king. As I said. Idiots. Idiots rather accidentally stranded atop the planet's only deposit of a transformative new element. They're fanatically secretive about it. But I've spent the last decade hunting it, ounce by ounce. I've managed to amass a hundred pounds. It's yours. [Angle changes, showing the picture of a man boxing a kangaroo] Elizabeth: Think, Mister Conagher—if this element can make a genius out of an Australian... ...what would it do for a man of your faculties? Use it to build Blutarch Mann his immortality machine, if you must. All I ask... ...is that you build one for Redmond Mann as well. [The scene changes back to the present day, with the Engineer at Blutarch's desk. Blutarch is visibly much older and hooked up to a machine by multiple cables, with the elderly woman by his side. An image of the original BLU team can be seen hung on a wall] Blutarch: And then what do you think my rat-stink twin brother did? He built one too, that's what! I'm no closer to beating him than I was a hundred years ago! And what's worse, your lummox of a grandfather didn't even build it right! This infernal thing is a lemon! I've barely cheated death out of a half-century with this pile of junk and it's already breaking down! The way I see it, he was your grandfather! And you're on my payroll! FIX IT! [Engineer inspects the machine with uncertainty as Blutarch watches] Engineer: Sir, I'm, uh... flattered y'all'd think of me, but I have no idea how to fix this. Blutarch: What if you had access to your grandfather's blueprints? Engineer: Well now, that's a different story. Heh, not much hope'a that, though. The old man had 'em— [Blutarch abruptly dumps the blueprints on his desk, dust flying to the sides, with the text 'FUMMPH' for emphasis] Engineer: —buried with him. [Engineer looks to Blutarch with an annoyed expression] Blutarch: Yes, yes, I dug up your grandfather and looted his corpse. If it makes you feel any better, those scribblings have been the bane of my existence for sixty years. I've spent a small fortune trying to decipher them. Gibberish, every last page. You may borrow it. All I ask is that you [He suddenly stops, then begins drooling, much to the confusion of the Engineer] Engineer: Uh... sir? Is he alright? Elderly Woman: Give him a moment, dear. He's just dead. [The machine makes a 'tik' sound, electrifying Blutarch and bringing him back to life] Blutarch: ....rrrRRRAGGHHHHHHHH! [He then grabs the Engineer and pulls him closer] Blutarch: Every day I'm dead a little longer, Mister Conagher. I have seen the other side. There is nothing there. Fix. This. Machine. Engineer: I appreciate that you're my employer, and an old man besides... but if you don't take your goddamn hands off me I will break you in half. Blutarch: Feh. [Blutarch lets go, leaving the Engineer lightly smoking after electrifying him. Cut to later, as the Engineer is inspecting the various blueprints] Blutarch: ["Take your grandfather's notes." "Decipher them." "Learn how to fix my machine." "If you find anything else of interest..."] [Engineer pushes aside the blueprint for the life extender machine, revealing a set of documents labelled 'GUNS' 'MAPS OF AUSTRALIUM CACHES' underneath, which he shows great interest in] Blutarch: ["Remember..." "It's mine." "Bring it directly to me." "Do not build it."] * See issue 97! |
Pages
Page 4 (Issue #97)
Pages (no text)
Trivia
- A loose cannon is a cannon that was carelessly tied, and so has come loose and is sliding around on the pitching deck of a storm-tossed ship. It is mindless and liable to kill any sailor it slides into. / A loose canon is canon that was carelessly tied, and so has come loose and is sliding around on the swerving plot of a storm-tossed storyline. It is mindless and liable to kill any narrative it slides into. (See Storyline)
- Page 1
- The Engineer's last name is revealed to be Conagher. This continues the tradition begun in the WAR! Comic of revealing a mercenary’s name every major comic.
- The painter Kicasso is based off of the painter Pablo Picasso. Pronouncing his name the same way, this creates the pun "Kick-ass-so".
- Page 2
- The painting is based on Picasso's Self Portait from his Blue Period. This is a reference to the fact that Blutarch keeps everything, from his home to his mercenaries, color-coordinated in blue.
- Page 4
- Zepheniah Mann's maidservant, Elizabeth, is introduced, with a Mallen streak similar to the Administrator.
- This is the second time a member of the Hale family has been shown fighting a big cat whilst sitting down. The first instance was on the cover of a Saxton Hale comic where Saxton Hale fought a lion while getting his hair cut. Both men remark on the creature's spirit, but because Tabasco-brand pepper sauce would not be invented for another 18 years Barnabas uses the generic term.
- Page 5
- The Eyelander can be seen sheathed near the globe next to Radigan, and a Solemn Vow is on a pedestal across the room.
- Blutarch is already connected to some form of life support equipment.
- Page 8
- The adobe pueblo building in the background places the scene in the Badlands.
- Several blueprints can be seen in the background when Radigan meets the unknown woman; designs for Sentry Guns that would be attributed to Dell in 1965.
- Hanging to the left are aircraft models similar to the aircraft then flying in Australia on the next page.
- Page 9
- The fighter on the right in the top panel is wearing Saxton Hale's signature crocodile-toothed hat.
- Page 13
- The workbench and wall that Dell is facing is similar to the workbench and wall upon which the contents of Radigan's papers are displayed on the Engineer Update Page.
- The handwritten notes on the "Life Extender Machine" blueprint suggest that, besides for Blutarch and Redmond, another machine was built for a third person and completed on April 14th, although the detailed year of completion and the identity of the user remain unknown due to the frame of the second panel being cut off.
- In the text version of the comic, the "Guns" folder held by the Engineer has "Maps of Australium Caches" written underneath the title; in the no text version, this sub-header is missing.
See also
External links
- Loose Canon comic on the Team Fortress 2 Official Website.
- Blog post that accompanied the announcement of the Loose Canon comic on the Team Fortress 2 Official Website.
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