Death of a Salesbot

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Death of a Salesbot
Salesbot 001.png
Comic Strip Info
Released: May 17, 2013
Number of pages: 13
Artist: The Heartsman
Writer: Cat Bountry (words)
NassimO (letters)
Colorist: InfaredFox
Gray Mann's Robot Army

Death of a Salesbot is a non-canon comic released on May 17, 2013 to coincide with the release of the Robotic Boogaloo.


The nearly bankrupt Gray Mann is aggravated over his constant losses incurred trying to defeat the mercenaries. To top it off, the mercenaries are spending the money powering the robots on weapon upgrades from his rival, Saxton Hale. Three Scout-bots enter the room in which Gray is grumbling to himself. One of the Scout-bots suggests powering robots on something other than money.

Instead, Gray turns around and unveils "Plan B" - the Bot Dogger. Gray asks a Scout-bot its prime-directive. The Scout-bot replies "checking out wicked hot fem-bots?" Gray drops the Bot Dogger on the Scout-bot's head. The hat updates the Scout-bot's prime-directive to "sell hats to mercenaries." Gray looks at a magazine cover showcasing Saxton Hale's success and says, "Let's see how well your profit margins fare when my army of sales-bots charge forth with a viral marketing campaign..."

The scene changes to the mercenaries at Mannworks. All of the mercenaries have too much money; the Demoman is covered with bling, the Pyro and Engineer are burning it, the Soldier is eating it on a sandwich, and the Sniper is sniping from atop a pile of cash. The Sniper scopes out the window and sees the sales-bots approaching. He shoots them in the face and alerts the other mercenaries that the robots are marching forwards with crates. The Soldier is enraged at how the sales-bots are "surrendering".

The mercenaries destroy the robots, and examine the RoboCrates. Suddenly, a half-robotic Engineer from 1999 warps in with a half-robotic Pyro head. The future-Engineer tries to warn the mercenaries about the RoboCrates to prevent the "Hat Wars" of the 1990s, but the Scout interrupts to ask about the future (as the present Engineer realizes that he has a perfectly good hand). The future-Engineer is cut short when he is sucked back to his own time. He quickly tells the mercenaries to not open the RoboCrates. The mercenaries have difficulty hearing his final warning, and the Soldier thinks the future-Engineer wanted them to open the crates.



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