You morons are about to catch a real beatin'.
The Scout ”
Crit-a-Cola, known in full as Bonk! Crit-a-Cola, is a secondary weapon for the Scout. It is a purple soda can manufactured by the Bonk! company, and sports the tagline 'Manliness guaranteed!'.
When the drink is ingested, it gives the Scout the ability to deal
mini-crits for 8 seconds with any equipped weapon and increases speed by 25%. However, when consumed with the maximum speed of the Baby Face's Blaster, the movement speed only increases 2.5 units/second. Any damage taken while under the effect of Crit-a-Cola will be increased by 10%.
The user has increased movement speed by 25%,
and gives mini-crits. Damage taken is increased 10%.
Values are approximate and determined by community testing.
Retire the Runner Kill a Scout while they are under the effect of Crit-a-Cola.
April 28, 2010 Patch
The Crit-a-Cola was added to the game.
( April 29, 2010 Patch 119th Update)
The "Retire the Runner" achievement was changed to apply to this weapon.
[Undocumented] The Crit-a-Cola was given its own texture to match the backpack icon.
May 12, 2010 Patch
[Undocumented] Added crafting recipe for the Crit-a-Cola.
( June 10, 2010 Patch Mac Update)
[Undocumented] The liquid spill from readying a can of Crit-a-Cola is now purple, instead of the green that Bonk! Atomic Punch uses.
( December 17, 2010 Patch Australian Christmas)
January 19, 2011 Patch
Fixed switching to the
melee weapon instead of using the last weapon setting after drinking.
January 24, 2011 Patch
March 15, 2011 Patch
[Undocumented] The Crit-a-Cola was removed from the crafting blueprint for the Buffalo Steak Sandvich.
April 20, 2011 Patch
Fixed a bug that allowed the Crit-a-Cola to be used repeatedly with no cooldown.
June 3, 2011 Patch
Added community contributed response rules to the Crit-a-Cola.
August 18, 2011 Patch
[Undocumented] Fixed the particle effect on the draw animation for the Crit-a-Cola not showing in censored version.
September 15, 2011 Patch
Natascha's bullets preventing Scouts from using Crit-a-Cola.
( June 27, 2012 Patch Pyromania Update)
Added +25% increased movement speed while active.
Increased duration from 6 to 8 seconds.
July 10, 2013 Patch
Removed Damage taken mini-crits.
Added Damage taken increased 25%.
November 12, 2013 Patch
December 6, 2013 Patch
[Undocumented] Added Strange quality.
December 20, 2013 Patch
Reduced damage taken increased from 25% to 10%.
As with Bonk! Atomic Punch, the Crit-a-Cola can uses a pull-tab opening mechanism; first invented in 1956, it was phased out with the current opening mechanism in the late 1970's.
Crit-a-Cola was designed and created one day before its release.
Upon its release, it had the same texture and particle effects as Bonk! Atomic Punch.
 The weapon's name is a play on popular soft-drink brand name
The labels for Bonk! Atomic Punch and Crit-a-Cola list the ingredients as water, radiation, and sugar. Several lines of random letters also appear on the label itself.
PC Gamer: 'Valve on the future of TF2', retrieved 2010-10-19