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This article is about a wiki April Fool's joke. For other uses of Cow, see Cow (disambiguation).
I have new way to kill cowards.
The Heavy about wooden cows

The Cow is a melee weapon for the Heavy. It appears as a two-dimensional wooden cutout of a cow with perpendicular planks to keep it upright.

Striking an enemy with the weapon will inflict bleeding and milk status for 12 seconds. However, when the Cow is the active weapon, the Heavy's movement speed is reduced by 20%. The swing speed and damage are identical to those of the Fists.

The Critical hit animation is an overhead swing with the flat side of the Cow. Should the critical hit connect with an enemy player, the Cow's head will shatter on impact, leaving a broken stump. This effect is similar to the Bottle and is purely cosmetic.

Damage and function times

See also: Damage
Identical to: Fists
Damage and function times
Maximum ramp-up 150% 72
Base damage 100% 65
Maximum fall-off 52.8% 59
Critical 195
Mini-crit 88
Bleeding 8 / s
96 total
Bleeding (mini-crit) 10.8 / s
129.6 total
Function times
Attack interval 0.8 s
Values are approximate and determined by community testing.


See also: Crafting


Buffalo Steak Sandvich Mad Milk Cow
Item icon Buffalo Steak Sandvich.png + Item icon Mad Milk.png = Backpack Cow April Fools' Day.png

Related Achievements

Leaderboard class heavy.png Heavy

Communist Mani-Fisto
Communist Mani-Fisto
Kill an enemy with a critical punch.

Update history

April 1, 2011 Patch (Australium April Update)

  • The item was added to the game.


  • The weapon clips with the Heavy's hands in first person view.
  • As the weapon uses the same taunt as the Minigun, it clips with the Heavy's hands and chest.
  • If the "Flip viewmodels" option is selected, the weapon will completely block the player's vision.
  • If the player tries to go Civilian with the Cow using an exploit, it will crash the server.


  • The item was first seen as a static prop in 2Fort, featured in an out of bounds area in the RED team base. It serves as a visual representation of the agricultural facade.
    • Additionally, the sound of the Cow can be heard briefly in Trailer 2.


See also