Cuban Bristle Crisis

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Who dares stand against me NOW?
The Heavy after secretly installing missile launch facilities in Cuba

The Cuban Bristle Crisis is a community-created cosmetic item for the Soldier, Heavy and Engineer. It gives the class a neatly kept beard and mustache, which connects up to the wearer's hairline, and a lit cigar.

The Cuban Bristle Crisis was contributed to the Steam Workshop.

Painted variants

Main article: Paint Can
Mouseover cells to preview the images on a dark background. Click on the images to enlarge them.
[hide]Painted variants — Soldier
  • Soldier
  • Heavy
  • Engineer
Soldier
Single colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8 BLU.png
An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge (RED) An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge (BLU) Color No. 216-190-216 (RED) Color No. 216-190-216 (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E BLU.png
Peculiarly Drab Tincture (RED) Peculiarly Drab Tincture (BLU) Aged Moustache Grey (RED) Aged Moustache Grey (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24 BLU.png
A Distinctive Lack of Hue (RED) A Distinctive Lack of Hue (BLU) After Eight (RED) After Eight (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57 BLU.png
Radigan Conagher Brown (RED) Radigan Conagher Brown (BLU) Ye Olde Rustic Colour (RED) Ye Olde Rustic Colour (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336 BLU.png
Muskelmannbraun (RED) Muskelmannbraun (BLU) Mann Co. Orange (RED) Mann Co. Orange (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C BLU.png
Australium Gold (RED) Australium Gold (BLU) The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants (RED) The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4 BLU.png
Dark Salmon Injustice (RED) Dark Salmon Injustice (BLU) Pink as Hell (RED) Pink as Hell (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A BLU.png
A Deep Commitment to Purple (RED) A Deep Commitment to Purple (BLU) Noble Hatter's Violet (RED) Noble Hatter's Violet (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B BLU.png
A Color Similar to Slate (RED) A Color Similar to Slate (BLU) Zepheniah's Greed (RED) Zepheniah's Greed (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42 BLU.png
Drably Olive (RED) Drably Olive (BLU) Indubitably Green (RED) Indubitably Green (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32 BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3 BLU.png
The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime (RED) The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime (BLU) A Mann's Mint (RED) A Mann's Mint (BLU)
Team colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A89A8C.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 839FA3.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 3B1F23.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 18233D.png
Waterlogged Lab Coat (RED) Waterlogged Lab Coat (BLU) Balaclavas Are Forever (RED) Balaclavas Are Forever (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B8383B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 5885A2.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 483838.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 384248.png
Team Spirit (RED) Team Spirit (BLU) Operator's Overalls (RED) Operator's Overalls (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 803020.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 256D8D.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 654740.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 28394D.png
The Value of Teamwork (RED) The Value of Teamwork (BLU) An Air of Debonair (RED) An Air of Debonair (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C36C2D.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B88035.png RED Cuban Bristle Crisis.png BLU Cuban Bristle Crisis.png
Cream Spirit (RED) Cream Spirit (BLU) Unpainted (RED) Unpainted (BLU)
Heavy
Single colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E Heavy.png
An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge Color No. 216-190-216 Peculiarly Drab Tincture Aged Moustache Grey
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57 Heavy.png
A Distinctive Lack of Hue After Eight Radigan Conagher Brown Ye Olde Rustic Colour
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C Heavy.png
Muskelmannbraun Mann Co. Orange Australium Gold The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A Heavy.png
Dark Salmon Injustice Pink as Hell A Deep Commitment to Purple Noble Hatter's Violet
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42 Heavy.png
A Color Similar to Slate Zepheniah's Greed Drably Olive Indubitably Green
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3 Heavy.png
The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime A Mann's Mint
Team colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A89A8C Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 839FA3 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 3B1F23 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 18233D Heavy.png
Waterlogged Lab Coat (RED) Waterlogged Lab Coat (BLU) Balaclavas Are Forever (RED) Balaclavas Are Forever (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B8383B Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 5885A2 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 483838 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 384248 Heavy.png
Team Spirit (RED) Team Spirit (BLU) Operator's Overalls (RED) Operator's Overalls (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 803020 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 256D8D Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 654740 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 28394D Heavy.png
The Value of Teamwork (RED) The Value of Teamwork (BLU) An Air of Debonair (RED) An Air of Debonair (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C36C2D Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B88035 Heavy.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis UNPAINTED Heavy.png
Cream Spirit (RED) Cream Spirit (BLU) Unpainted
Engineer
Single colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8 Engineer BLU.png
An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge (RED) An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge (BLU) Color No. 216-190-216 (RED) Color No. 216-190-216 (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E Engineer BLU.png
Peculiarly Drab Tincture (RED) Peculiarly Drab Tincture (BLU) Aged Moustache Grey (RED) Aged Moustache Grey (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24 Engineer BLU.png
A Distinctive Lack of Hue (RED) A Distinctive Lack of Hue (BLU) After Eight (RED) After Eight (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57 Engineer BLU.png
Radigan Conagher Brown (RED) Radigan Conagher Brown (BLU) Ye Olde Rustic Colour (RED) Ye Olde Rustic Colour (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336 Engineer BLU.png
Muskelmannbraun (RED) Muskelmannbraun (BLU) Mann Co. Orange (RED) Mann Co. Orange (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C Engineer BLU.png
Australium Gold (RED) Australium Gold (BLU) The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants (RED) The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4 Engineer BLU.png
Dark Salmon Injustice (RED) Dark Salmon Injustice (BLU) Pink as Hell (RED) Pink as Hell (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A Engineer BLU.png
A Deep Commitment to Purple (RED) A Deep Commitment to Purple (BLU) Noble Hatter's Violet (RED) Noble Hatter's Violet (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B Engineer BLU.png
A Color Similar to Slate (RED) A Color Similar to Slate (BLU) Zepheniah's Greed (RED) Zepheniah's Greed (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42 Engineer BLU.png
Drably Olive (RED) Drably Olive (BLU) Indubitably Green (RED) Indubitably Green (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32 Engineer BLU.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3 Engineer BLU.png
The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime (RED) The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime (BLU) A Mann's Mint (RED) A Mann's Mint (BLU)
Team colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A89A8C Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 839FA3 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 3B1F23 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 18233D Engineer.png
Waterlogged Lab Coat (RED) Waterlogged Lab Coat (BLU) Balaclavas Are Forever (RED) Balaclavas Are Forever (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B8383B Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 5885A2 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 483838 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 384248 Engineer.png
Team Spirit (RED) Team Spirit (BLU) Operator's Overalls (RED) Operator's Overalls (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 803020 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 256D8D Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 654740 Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 28394D Engineer.png
The Value of Teamwork (RED) The Value of Teamwork (BLU) An Air of Debonair (RED) An Air of Debonair (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C36C2D Engineer.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B88035 Engineer.png RED Cuban Bristle Crisis Engineer.png BLU Cuban Bristle Crisis Engineer.png
Cream Spirit (RED) Cream Spirit (BLU) Unpainted (RED) Unpainted (BLU)
show;hide

Update history

October 10, 2013 Patch (Fall Event 2013)

  • [Undocumented] The Cuban Bristle Crisis was added to the game.

November 12, 2013 Patch

October 28, 2015 Patch (Scream Fortress 2015)

  • Updated The Cuban Bristle Crisis with the latest changes from the authors.
  • [Undocumented] The Cuban Bristle Crisis can now be equipped by the Soldier and Engineer.

July 7, 2016 Patch #1 (Meet Your Match Update)

  • [Undocumented] Added Strange quality.

October 1, 2020 Patch (Scream Fortress 2020)

  • Updated The Cuban Bristle Crisis to add the smoke effect.

Trivia

  • The item's name is a reference to the Cuban Missile Crisis, a confrontation in 1962 between the USSR and the United States during the Cold War in which the USSR put missiles in Cuba in response to the USA's missiles in Turkey.
  • The item is based off of the late famous Cold-War communist Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, who wore an iconic beard and was fond of smoking cigars.

Gallery