Cuban Bristle Crisis

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“
Who dares stand against me NOW?
Click to listen
— The Heavy after secretly installing missile launch facilities in Cuba
 ”

The Cuban Bristle Crisis is a community-created cosmetic item for the Soldier, Heavy and Engineer. It gives the class a neatly kept beard and mustache, which connects up to the wearer's hairline, and a lit cigar.

The Cuban Bristle Crisis was contributed to the Steam Workshop.

Painted variants

Main article: Paint Can
Mouseover cells to preview the images on a dark background. Click on the images to enlarge them.
Single colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E6E6E6.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis D8BED8.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C5AF91.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7E7E7E.png
An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge Color No. 216-190-216 Peculiarly Drab Tincture Aged Moustache Grey
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 141414.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2D2D24.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 694D3A.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7C6C57.png
A Distinctive Lack of Hue After Eight Radigan Conagher Brown Ye Olde Rustic Colour
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A57545.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis CF7336.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E7B53B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis F0E68C.png
Muskelmannbraun Mann Co. Orange Australium Gold The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis E9967A.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis FF69B4.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 7D4071.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 51384A.png
Dark Salmon Injustice Pink as Hell A Deep Commitment to Purple Noble Hatter's Violet
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 2F4F4F.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 424F3B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 808000.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 729E42.png
A Color Similar to Slate Zepheniah's Greed Drably Olive Indubitably Green
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 32CD32.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis BCDDB3.png
The Bitter Taste of Defeat and Lime A Mann's Mint
Team colors
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis A89A8C.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 839FA3.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 3B1F23.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 18233D.png
Waterlogged Lab Coat (RED) Waterlogged Lab Coat (BLU) Balaclavas Are Forever (RED) Balaclavas Are Forever (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B8383B.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 5885A2.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 483838.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 384248.png
Team Spirit (RED) Team Spirit (BLU) Operator's Overalls (RED) Operator's Overalls (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 803020.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 256D8D.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 654740.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis 28394D.png
The Value of Teamwork (RED) The Value of Teamwork (BLU) An Air of Debonair (RED) An Air of Debonair (BLU)
Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis C36C2D.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis B88035.png Painted Cuban Bristle Crisis UNPAINTED.png
Cream Spirit (RED) Cream Spirit (BLU) Unpainted

Update history

October 10, 2013 Patch (Fall Event 2013)

  • [Undocumented] The Cuban Bristle Crisis was added to the game.

November 12, 2013 Patch

October 28, 2015 Patch (Scream Fortress 2015)

  • Updated The Cuban Bristle Crisis with the latest changes from the authors.
  • [Undocumented] The Cuban Bristle Crisis can now be equipped by the Soldier and Engineer.

July 7, 2016 Patch #1 (Meet Your Match Update)

  • [Undocumented] Added Strange quality.

October 1, 2020 Patch (Scream Fortress 2020)

  • Updated The Cuban Bristle Crisis to add the smoke effect.

Trivia

  • The item's name is a reference to the Cuban Missile Crisis, a confrontation in 1962 between the USSR and the United States during the Cold War in which the USSR put missiles in Cuba in response to the USA's missiles in Turkey.
  • The item is based off of the late famous Cold-War communist Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, who wore an iconic beard and was fond of smoking cigars.

Gallery

  • Steam Workshop thumbnail for the Cuban Bristle Crisis.

  • Steam Workshop thumbnail for the updated Cuban Bristle Crisis.

  • Cuban Prime Minister Fidel Castro.

v • d • e
Backpack Fall 2013 Acorns Crate.png Fall Event 2013
Cosmetics
Tools
Crates
Keys
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